Half Way Done, So Why Am I Not Happier?

Half way done with my pregnancy and I should be doing the “Happy Dance” but I physically cannot because the pain in my back makes it hard for me to even walk let alone dance. Add to that, I woke up this morning with my feet so swollen that it hurts to put any pressure on them. The list could go on….

 

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I made the joke to my OB nurse/friend the other day when she asked me how I was doing: ” Eh, miserable like usual. I feel like I am experiencing every single negative pregnancy symptom with this baby”. Well, of course, since I put it out to the universe, the universe answered by giving me new symptoms to deal with and now I would be willing to deal with just the old symptoms like the heartburn, constipation and hemorrhoids. (Yes I know TMI but what do you think pregnancy and giving birth is… putting your whole body out there for people to touch, prod and poke so why hold back on what looks like just a cute baby bump everyone wants to touch.)

Now in my reality, my half way mark could have come and pass because of my history of preemies but I would like to keep Baby Evelynne inside her little incubator for at least another few months for her own good. I just wish these symptoms would let up just a little bit or at least have just one at a time. (lol the small things that you begin to appreciate)

In my baby group, another mom expressed the same thing of how she is just miserable in her pregnancy. No Glow, No Happy Moments just symptoms that make your survival through each day a challenge. For any other moms going through the symptoms of pregnancy, you are never alone! There is always other moms going through the same symptoms and feelings!

Something to look forward to is the big anatomy ultrasound on Wednesday (I know, I know we already know the sex but still getting to see how big she is compared to making sure my cervix is “nice and long will be a nice change). I know that I am supposed to count up with the weeks like next week will be 21 weeks, but I will be going the other way… next week is 19 weeks to go!

 

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Suprise Mommy Gift at My Door

I am not one who loves surprises (yes I used to find all the christmas presents before

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Christmas!) but receiving an email on my birthday that I was gifted the Bump Box! Say what?? In my baby moms group, other moms have talked about receiving the Bump Box as a gift or purchasing the Bump Box to pamper themselves during their pregnancy. The idea of the Bump Box was awesome but out of our budget especially now that I am on bed rest but now I get to be part the of the Bump Box club!

So what is the Bump Box? It is a monthly subscription that someone pays $39.99 a month to send themselves or a pregnant loved one a box of treats for a mommy to be. According to their website, they tailor each monthly box according to your due date so the pregnant woman receives items that will help them through whatever trimester they are currently in. Since I am 19 weeks today, I am in my second trimester and would receive 4-8 full size products to enjoy for the month of August. Another perk with Bump Boxes, is that with every purchase of the box (even if it’s a gift) plus a product review earns you points to discount when you purchase a reorder of a product from a box!

What did I receive for August??  I swear it is like the company knew

Photo Aug 11, 1 36 02 PMexactly what I have been going through lately because I received a pack of argon oil face clothes (this will hopefully help with the horrible acne on my face), a bottle of pregnancy safe probiotic (to hopefully help with my IBS that has been attacking at least once a week), bath salts (this is controversal to me because I have been told that bath salts, oils and bubble bath were a no no during pregnancy), and a bottle of belly oil to help with stretch marks ( I am on the fence of whether I will be trying this or not since I have been making my own body products for so long that I prefer my own stuff to everything else). Lastly, I received an adorable picture frame to put one of Evelynne’s ultrasound pictures in. The frame is so adorable and says Love At First Sight.

Overall, the box is super adorable and I look forward to receiving my next one in September. To the person that gave me the special gift…. Thank you!

**If you would like to purchase a Bump Box for yourself or a loved one flow this link: BumpBoxes

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Next 5 Months of Boredom or Discovery

 

Well it is official folks… I am on bed rest or at least out of work for the rest of my pregnancy. I had a feeling it was coming because as soon as I am on my feet my body decides that it is going to start acting up. You know the cramps and Braxton Hicks

Photo Aug 09, 9 05 02 PMcontractions that are not supposed to happen until the 3rd trimester! In order to help relieve the pain and my anxiety, my OB thinks staying off my feet as much is in mine and the baby’s best interest and I have to agree.

Now what in the hell am I going to do for the next 4-5 months? Since I had a feeling this was coming, I started to make my plan over the weekend to apply for financial aid and college. I still have a semester to finish of my theatre associates degree from the community college I attend when Danyella was in preschool so I do have some credits that will transfer over… hopefully! Since the new community college does not offer a theatre degree, I opted for a fine arts degree which between the fall and spring I should be able to finish up to transfer to a “big person’s college or university”. Yes, to me attending a 4 year school is like finally growing into an adult because you need at least a bachelors in order to a decent job now.

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I am going to be the old, pregnant mom in my classes which makes me feel soooo self conscious because I hate that I have gotten this old and haven’t finished school. On the bright side, having school and homework will keep me super busy since I will not have to work to occupy my time. I love anything to do with art so getting my associates in Fine Arts will allow me to transfer to a 4 year college to get my bachelors in Art History which I would love to take to the next level and get my Masters as well. The art classes will do me a double good because I will be working towards my degree plus releasing my stresses through my art.

Another project that I am going to try and undertake while on bed rest, is to actually start making all these patterns that I have collected over the past 10 years. So I will be going through all my patterns and making one of each to either give as a gift, keep for my family or list on my website. Some of my most popular items came from patterns that I wouldn’t have normally tried because it was either a request or went with yarn that I fell in love with and needed a fitting pattern.

Let’s hope that the next 4-5 months brings alot of self discovery and adventure instead of sleep and boredom. When I am bored it is never good for myself and really not good for the loved ones that are around me because I get very demanding and bitchy. For their sake, keeping busy is the best thing….

18 Weeks

Photo Aug 05, 2 33 43 PM We have made it to 18 weeks! Each week is a new accomplishment in my life after suffering miscarriages. No huge changes this week besides my increased hormones making me want to cry all the time. I don’t think I have ever been so damn sensitive in my life!

According to the apps, Evelynne is the size of a Sweet Potato, a croissant, a sling shot and a sugar glider (the picture looks like a brown squirrel). I am definitely getting bigger by the day which means I have had to buy new clothes. On a bright note, the size Large jeans that I got are actually to big on me!!

With fair week and my birthday, it was hard to stay on complete bed rest but I made sure to sit as much as possible when I was out. I am feeling a major difference in my body when I rest compared to when I am active and it is not good. Another thing that went out the window this week was eating healthy…. I craved fried foods (2am NEED for pulled pork and pickles!) and pie. One odd thing that I have craved is more vegetables including salads. I was good at my birthday lunch and got the salad bar as one of my sides because I want dark lettuce, croutons and beets. Yes these combos are weird!

Update on the insurance sage…. I was able to obtain new health insurance for a hefty rate! Now for the bad news…. both my OB and high risk doctors are covered BUT the hospital is not! FML! Well things will change once we move across the river to PA but now I feel like we are in a time crunch to get a place and it might not be a place that is the right fit for us for a whole year. Which can I just say that I am beginning to LOATHE the office girl at my OB’s office! She has become such a bitch with all of this insurance stuff and if I didn’t LOVE my OB I would switch doctors asap.

Next week will come with a lengthy update because I see both doctors on Wednesday and will find out if I am on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy.

17 Weeks

0c51b4d6e768a4b380e500cf7242117d Today marks 17 weeks into my pregnancy! I am almost to the half way mark which has been roller coaster of symptoms and hormones so far. Now I am on bed rest for at least the next 2 weeks though I have a feeling it is going to end up being a lot longer.

Everyone talks about the pregnancy glow and how the 2nd trimester is the best trimester of the pregnancy but I beg to differ right now. At 17 weeks, I am still dealing with morning sickness though it has gotten much better and I can hold down most food. Instead of the beautiful glow, I have a face that is breaking out in acne which I have not dealt with before even with the other pregnancies.

My cravings have been not so great…. anything made from potatoes plus candy plus anything that someone might say that makes me hungry in that instant moment. Like today, a friend of mine in a conversation about her dad mentioned Arby’s, and I wanted a Roast Beef and Cheese sandwich asap! To bad there isn’t an Arby’s in my area. This week is our county fair which is food heaven to me. So for dinner my parents, daughter and I are going to eat dinner at the fair so bring on the pierogies!

Then we come to my hormones…. oh they have been off the charts! I have teetered between rage and anger to crying at everything! My poor boyfriend has been at the receiving end of my yelling and most of my crying so he has been a trooper with coping with me. Christmas romantic movies have been my downfall lately. It is like my body just wants me to cry and cry and cry a little more!

On a bright note, I have survived 3 days on bed rest so far and have started a baby blanket for Baby Evelynne. I do have a little more energy which has been nice to clean more of the house as we prepare to start packing soon. I am taking this bed rest just like the rest of life, one day at a time.

Photo Jul 26, 10 52 02 AM Here is Baby Evelynne at our appointment last wednesday. She is facing and kicking my back. According to my apps, she is as big as a white onion, a turnip, a pomegranate, Creme Brulee, Game Controller or a chipmunk! She is growing so fast and I cannot wait to meet our baby girl in 5 months!

New Day Different Stress

stressAs if this pregnancy hasn’t been hard enough to deal with, but each day has brought something new to stress about which living in good ole America means…. money or lack there of. A woman going through a pregnancy is told to keep her stress level to a minimum for the health of herself and the baby but add a high risk, possible pre-term labor pregnancy and you are told do not be stressed out at all! Oh how I wish life was that easy!

Since June, the stressors have been hitting me left and right with each one having a bigger impact than the last. In June, while I was on my one and only girls trip to Las Vegas (planned nearly a year in advance and the thought of a baby was not even in existence), I receive a frantic phone call from my boyfriend that someone is trying to change the locks on our house! WTF!! After calming him down, making several pissed off phone calls to my landlord and trying not to ruin my trip, I find out that the house we have been renting was foreclosed on and my landlord never told the bank he was renting it so the bank was coming to seize the property! So my landlord had to email me a letter stating we were renting the property because he had not updated my lease which was asked multiple times since November. One crisis diverted…. onto the next one!

Jump to a couple of weeks ago when I get notice in the mail that my insurance did not cover a single one of my baby appointments because they cancelled my insurance. WTF!! Now I am hormonal and dealing with a crisis so I automatically start crying and freaking out at the same time. I call the insurance company, who first tells me that they cancelled the insurance and reactivated it to May because they didn’t receive my premium for May. Mind you they accepted my payment for June and July and never said a single word in 2 months about May until they cancelled the policy. I am frantic on the phone with them who connects me with the company that I bought my policy from and tells me just pay them and then we can reinstate it. Well this company tells me NO! When the policy is cancelled it is cancelled sorry and hangs up. So I call the insurance company back…. now I am told that I cannot receive insurance in the good ole USA until open enrollment in November or have a life changing event. The girl goes on to tell me that if I have the baby early then I can get coverage….. I am 14 weeks (at that point) I cannot have my baby for months you crazy bitch! So now I am really flipping the hell out and all my boyfriend can say is “we will figure it out”. Well now the doctor’s office is calling me about why everything is getting kicked back from my insurance including the progesterone shots that I desperately need to start next week. Thankfully the nurse called the manufacture and was able to get me a charity set of shots until I can “sort out my insurance”. Though I do need to pay for the visits which means $250 every 2 weeks for the ultrasound that the doctor needs and I am not sure what the nurse visits will cost. Well to sort out my insurance I would need to either quit my job, claim self employed under my business and pay $500 a month which I do not have OR marry my boyfriend which will never happen as he made very clear to me (another blog post for the future). So for right now I am stuck in a rut with this stressor.

Yesterday, I find out that the house we are still living in is now being auctioned by Auction.com on August 1st…. WT double F!!!! So after some research, I find out that once the house is sold through this site we will have 1 of 2 options, receive a 90 day eviction notice or have our lease changed which means an increase in rent! FML!! I can barely afford the bills that we have because I am down to working only 4 days a week and should be on bed rest. Now I am trying to figure out how we are coming up with the money to move into a new place plus find a new place and keep current on the bills that we do have.

A new Day…. A new Stessor! Now to look at the upside of things… 1.I do still have a place to live in, even if it is for 90 days 2. My baby is receiving care because of a very caring nurse. 3. I have a business that I can restart to make money while I make my game plan 4. I have a house full of stuff to sell on the Facebook yard sale groups to help raise money for my moving and medical expense. 5. I am 16 weeks today and Baby Evelynne is the size of an Avocado!!

Where Have I Gone?

I swear I have not given up on my blogging or ran off to hide in some cave (as tempting as that is right now!) but instead there has been a big change in my life…..

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Yes that is right we are having a baby girl around Christmas time this year! Her name will be Evelynne Rue and we are so excited to welcome a new addition to our family.

So why did this news of a pregnancy make me disappear for nearly 4 months?? One answer…. Good Ole Morning Sickness! Yes some women suffer from morning sickness and some are blessed with an amazing pregnancy that gives them a glow and they crave foods that they can eat. Not me with this pregnancy!

Just about from the moment I found out I was pregnant the nausau hit me hard, then came the puking all the time which made working in a restaurant oh so much fun… not! Everything made me want to get sick including looking at a computer screen or even crocheting! I didn’t want to do anything besides sleep and puke all day long and still have my really bad moments of the day.

Yes, at almost 16 weeks, I am still getting sick and live with all day nausau. The bright side is that some of my energy has picked up and am able to function a little more. My house is starting to get clean again, I have picked up yarn without running to the bathroom and I am right now typing on my computer! Who would have thoughts that these would be huge accomplishments in my life right now??

With this big announcement, I will be adding a weekly baby update to my blog because once I am on bed rest I won’t have much else to do besides crochet and be on my computer! I look foward to sharing my good and ugly moments of pregnancy with all of you.