Let’s Make Things and Be Happy

0145f73236d1a38bf76352387fb519aeWhen you are a creative person, your heart and soul craves the feeling of creating something with your hands (or other body parts if it suits your artistic craving). Having run my handmade business the past 9 years, I have created many beautiful things including clothing, accessories and so much more. Most of the things that I created were at the request of a customer looking for a custom item. I love some of the creativity that my customers challenge me with but something has been missing in my soul.

I am not sure what exactly is missing yet but I am feeling creatively unsatisfied. The feeling of needing to find my artistic passion grows with everyday so I need to start to explore my artistic options. There is a huge world to explore my creative senses and find my passion but where do I begin?

Let’s start with my artistic skills….. I can crochet, knit, sew, draw, paint and create beautiful art out of unwanted items. So with all of these artistic skills, why can’t I find something that lights my passion? That is what I want to set out to answer by creating something new every week.

I have gotten into the habit of finding something popular among my customer base and making a bunch of them until I get mentally exhausted and begin to hate the creation. So, I want to change things up and try new things in my creative endeavors. Since I am Pinterest obsessed, I plan on getting most of my ideas from Pinterest and will be blogging about my new item each week. I am excited to see where this leads me and artistic cravings!

This is my current project (thanks to my mom’s friend who is Photo Mar 21, 7 34 07 PMa grandma of twin gi
rls). I am making bunny hats in purple and pink for the twins to have pictures done for Easter. The yarn used in the pictures was difficult to find in purple, locally at least and to pay the shipping costs was outrageous! I am using a similar fluffy yarn but it is a bit thick since it is supposed to be a blanket yarn. So far I have the hats done and just need to make the ears. These are super simple to make and I can’t wait to see the girls wearing them.

 

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Journey to a Healthy Body

39e66afc5bbd472bd974db4442b82b17 People always tell me that you need to love the body you are in and love yourself if you want to be happy. Well… I half agree with that statement because yes I do need to love myself but it doesn’t mean I am going to be happy with the changes that have been going on in my body. There are women that love themselves whether they are 105 pounds and petite or 205 pounds and curvy. I am not one of those women!

Currently I am 158 pounds and continuing to gain weight despite my efforts to work out and change my eating habits. I have been working out 4-5 times a week, practicing yoga almost daily and have cut out most carbs and sugars plus increased my intake of fresh fruits/veggies and water but I continue to gain weight. I am exhausted everyday, even if I can take a nap, I just want to continue to sleep and my body hurts all the time.

Part of me wonders if there is something more going on with my body then the tests are revealing. I have been going to the doctor for 2 years for sleep problems and my body pain. All that was revealed was the I have herniated discs in my neck that “could” be effecting my nerve endings in my body. It is frustrating and depressing that my body feels this miserable and my attempts at living a healthier lifestyle has increased my weight instead of decrease my weight and pain. I took myself off the medication that aided in my pain relief because my significant other and I are trying to have a baby after my miscarriage in January. We have pushed to change to a healthier lifestyle to help aid in trying to conceive so this just adds to my frustrations with my weight.

Happiness is a mind over matter situation but your matter affects your mind especially when it comes to self love. I want to feel happy and healthy with my body, mind and life so this is going to be a long journey in my life that will require even more changes to give me those results I seek.

On Mondays, I am going to blog about my journey with my weight, body and happiness within.

Balance in Relationships

Something that I have struggled with for basically all of my life is creating a balance in my relationships where I am not giving, giving, giving and not getting anything in return. Don’t get me wrong, I love to help people and be there for the ones I love but I do this to a point where I get burned out and then resent this person for the way I am feeling about myself. The feelings of resentment then resonate in my mind and it turns ugly. The last thing I end up doing to casting this person, that I resent so much, out of my life and later regret my actions but it is to late to change things now or the person and I reconcile and the cycle continues over and over again. one day she remembered that it wasn't her job to keep everyone happy

Now, I am not talking about just romantic relationships, but all my relationships with friends and family. I love to see others happy even if it costs me my own happiness until I can’t take it anymore. Neglecting your own happiness and well being to create someone else’s happiness is not healthy but it is a cycle that I seem to get myself stuck in all the time. Yes, I do self love work and have come a long, long way in my 35 years of creating other people’s happiness and avoiding my own but the cycle still exists and it flat out sucks.

When it is a family relationship that this is occuring in, I will take a “time out” from said family member and get myself back on track until I see the cycle begin again. When it comes to romantic relationships, you really can’t take a “time out” without killing the relationship but if the relationship continues at a rate that is uneven then the relationship is going to suffer repercussions, possibly permanant ones.

Currently, I am struggling with this balance in multiple relationships in my life and the attempt to find the balance has been exhausting because truly it takes two to create this balance. In my romantic relationship, the lack of balance is one that has been mentally and emotionally exhausting because no matter how hard I try, his lack of keeping his end of the balace has me working harder but seeing no results. Our schedules have become so opposite of each other that even when we have time to spend together there is very little connection and being a hopeless romantic, I am left wondering what I am doing wrong or what else I can do but in reality I can do everything possible but without the other person balancing out my efforts then all it does is build up resentment until I blow up.

That blow up has recently happened and it was not pretty. I exploded and cried and exploded and still hold the feelings of resentment because I don’t know what to do to get it through his head that I need him to keep up with his end of the relationship. We may only have a half hour in the evening before I go to bed, but make the most of that time. Cuddle with me, hold my hand, take a bath with me, remind me that I am the one you love. Since we only have a little time to spend together then find something special to suprise me with and remind me why I fell in love with you. Just because life happens and we work hard to keep our house and family living comfortably doesn’t mean that we begin to act like roommates not lovers.

Since my blow up, I am learning to do more for myself and love myself more then doing things for my love. There is a part of me that feels guilty for acting like this but I need to make myself happy because I don’t feel like I am making him happy. It breaks my heart that he feels like we are ok but I am not so maybe showing him that making myself happy before his happiness will open his eyes before our relationship ends up with repercussions we cannot come back from.

It is extremely hard to talk about my personal relationship but I know others can relate which is why I am doing it. Whether its a lover, friend or family member…. make each of them feel loved and of course love yourself first!

New Puppy Mama for a Non Animal Lover

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I will be the first to admit that I was never an animal person. I couldn’t handle the fur being everywhere, the constant need for attention and the ruckus they tend to cause which is why God blessed me with a child who loves animals to the point where she stopped eating meat for a long period of time (yes I love a good steak, chicken, pork almost any meat dish except venision). Danyella absolutely loves animals and has since she was a baby and fell in love with Happy Feet but I dreaded that one day I would have to fulfil her need for animals in the house.

At 5, Danyella received Stinky, a little hamster, for her birthday and he was her first love. Then at 6, she adopted Hannah, a Havana bunny that was the runt of the litter. We house trained Hannah so she was an indoor bunny and Danyella couldn’t give enough love to Hannah. Right before Christmas, when Danyella was 8, Stinky died and she was so upset but had Hannah to keep her loving animal spirit going. As a runt, Hannah had medical issues and there was a couple of times we didn’t know if Hannah would survive the infections she got. Everytime she pulled through Danyella would dote on Hannah even more. Now animals in cages, I handled that because Hannah was allowed out a couple hours a day to play but she didn’t make so much of a mess and little noise.

Right before Christmas this past year, Hannah became very ill to the point that I hand fed her through and eye dropper. Danyella, Doug and I took turns holding Hannah until she died 2 days before Christmas. Danyella cried nearly everyday since Hannah died because she lost her best friend. I knew that Danyella wanted a dog but I have always resisted because I cannot handle fur with my business. After my miscarriage, my feelings towards a dog started to change….

A little over 2 weeks ago, Doug and I decided to stop by the local animal shelter (after weeks of stalking their facebook to see what kinds of dogs they had coming in) just to see what they had. I got the lecture from Doug “we are only looking, we are NOT bringing home a dog today!”. Well that lectured didn’t work so well on him at all because one look into each other’s eyes and Doug wasn’t leaving without Max!

Max is a Plott Hound/Pitbull mix that was fostered by someone I know locally. He is 12 weeks old and full of love. He is a Mama’s boy and my protector when someone comes to the door. He loves to go for car rides but hates that Mama won’t let him sit on her lap when she drives. When I get home, Max will shimmy his body around my body to climb up and give me kisses. Adopting Max was the best idea we ever had because now this non-animal loving girl is a New Puppy Mama!16711749_10211574326249956_4510085282709894425_n

Let’s start a Fabulous Friday trend

It’s Friday and for most people the best day of the week, for myself it’s the start of a busy work weekend but…. not this weekend!! I am jumping for joy that this weekend I only work lunch today and lunch Sunday which also means I get to watch the Super Bowl!!! (I just want to see the Patriots lose!) With an exciting weekend ahead, I think we should all start trending #fabulousfriday and let the world know something positive you have going on for your weekend!

My #fabulousfriday trending idea is really an inspiration from all the positivity work that I have been focusing on the past couple of weeks now. Every morning, instead of listening to music or djs, my daughter and I have been listening to audio books to enhance the positivity in our lives. (Much to my daughter’s unhappiness because she loves and relates to music) 

Part of my decision to turn off the radio and listen to audiobooks to help my daughter learn to love herself now at almost 10 and avoid the pains I have gone through for 35 years to learn to love myself as an adult. I know the quote “misery loves company” applies to my daughter and I because she has fed off of my bad moods lately. If you ask my daughter how she is, she will respond with something negative, like she is tired (her fav) or she is bored or she doesn’t feel good. So it’s time to not only change myself but change how my daughter perceives herself and her life.

This week has been The Secret which I have listened to 100s of times over the past year and each time something different sinks in. Listening to The Secret this week has been focusing on gratitude and being grateful for the small things in my life that otherwise I take advantage of every other day. I want to find at least one thing, everyday, to be grateful for and share it with the world so that the Universe knows that I am not taking it for granted and love everything and everyone in my life.

Here is to a #fabulousfriday and amazing weekend for myself and everyone of you! Go to whatever social media is your favorite and tell the world about your #fabulousfriday 

Crochet Day

The artisan part of Mogul Mom Artisan is all the beautiful things I create like paintings, body products and all the items I crochet! I love to crochet all day and night, though my hands don’t always love to crochet. 

One way I have built my business is crocheting everywhere I go. Whether it’s at my daughter dance classes, in the movie theatre, doctor’s office… everywhere! Some of my best creations have come from people seeing me crochet and requesting a custom item!

I have made blankets, animals, hats, sweaters, even dresses! This has helped me learn how to create my own patterns as well. I am so blessed to have a talent that I can’t share with others and appreciated by all who sees the finished products. 

Having a business that I can take with me everywhere has also allowed me to spend more time with my daughter and pay for my daughter dance which is her artistic passion. To all of my loyal customers… thank you for supporting my business and family! 

To see some of my creations go to Kaella Boutique 

Time for Myself

10 years ago I would have agonized over having to spend time alone. I absolutely hated being by myself, to lost in my own thoughts which scared the hell out of me. Having lived with depression since a teen, being alone could send me into a downward spiral which would end in me not getting off the couch or out of bed for days at a time and cutting off communication to everyone possible. Now I cherish that time I can spend with just myself and my thoughts.

Growing up is a necessary evil that each of us have to cope with in different ways. One way I have learned to grow up and into myself, even at 35 years old, is to take time for myself to be alone. Sometimes it’s to just sit on my couch and read a book, sometimes it’s to sit at Panera at a table and do some laptop work or journal (in the past I would have feared sitting by myself in public!) or even sitting in my car and taking a few minutes to breathe and calm myself down. Lately, with all the stresses I have been dealing with plus living with 3 other people in my house, I haven’t been able to find my Meagan time which has contributed to some of my “temper tantrums”.  This term is used by my boyfriend when I go into my rage fits which are still coming and going. I’m still trying to find my way through all of this pain and instead of being one with myself and taking the time to take care of myself, I am causing myself more pain which hurts everyone around me.

Scheduling even 10 minutes of me time a day is essential to my mental health and my family’s well being because it helps me release the tension I have built up in my body and mind. I want to work on getting back my affirmations, reading my encouragement books (aka self help books), adding to my vision board and meditating again but I know I can’t do it all overnight. It’s going to take sometime to get back into the routine but scheduling 10 minutes a day to work on myself and spend time alone will be one of the most beneficial things I can do for myself. 

So I encourage all of you take 10 minutes today to spend by yourself to do something just for you even if it’s just to sit and think and let your thoughts flow through your mind and out of your mind.