Suprise Mommy Gift at My Door

I am not one who loves surprises (yes I used to find all the christmas presents before

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Christmas!) but receiving an email on my birthday that I was gifted the Bump Box! Say what?? In my baby moms group, other moms have talked about receiving the Bump Box as a gift or purchasing the Bump Box to pamper themselves during their pregnancy. The idea of the Bump Box was awesome but out of our budget especially now that I am on bed rest but now I get to be part the of the Bump Box club!

So what is the Bump Box? It is a monthly subscription that someone pays $39.99 a month to send themselves or a pregnant loved one a box of treats for a mommy to be. According to their website, they tailor each monthly box according to your due date so the pregnant woman receives items that will help them through whatever trimester they are currently in. Since I am 19 weeks today, I am in my second trimester and would receive 4-8 full size products to enjoy for the month of August. Another perk with Bump Boxes, is that with every purchase of the box (even if it’s a gift) plus a product review earns you points to discount when you purchase a reorder of a product from a box!

What did I receive for August??  I swear it is like the company knew

Photo Aug 11, 1 36 02 PMexactly what I have been going through lately because I received a pack of argon oil face clothes (this will hopefully help with the horrible acne on my face), a bottle of pregnancy safe probiotic (to hopefully help with my IBS that has been attacking at least once a week), bath salts (this is controversal to me because I have been told that bath salts, oils and bubble bath were a no no during pregnancy), and a bottle of belly oil to help with stretch marks ( I am on the fence of whether I will be trying this or not since I have been making my own body products for so long that I prefer my own stuff to everything else). Lastly, I received an adorable picture frame to put one of Evelynne’s ultrasound pictures in. The frame is so adorable and says Love At First Sight.

Overall, the box is super adorable and I look forward to receiving my next one in September. To the person that gave me the special gift…. Thank you!

**If you would like to purchase a Bump Box for yourself or a loved one flow this link: BumpBoxes

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Where Have I Gone?

I swear I have not given up on my blogging or ran off to hide in some cave (as tempting as that is right now!) but instead there has been a big change in my life…..

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Yes that is right we are having a baby girl around Christmas time this year! Her name will be Evelynne Rue and we are so excited to welcome a new addition to our family.

So why did this news of a pregnancy make me disappear for nearly 4 months?? One answer…. Good Ole Morning Sickness! Yes some women suffer from morning sickness and some are blessed with an amazing pregnancy that gives them a glow and they crave foods that they can eat. Not me with this pregnancy!

Just about from the moment I found out I was pregnant the nausau hit me hard, then came the puking all the time which made working in a restaurant oh so much fun… not! Everything made me want to get sick including looking at a computer screen or even crocheting! I didn’t want to do anything besides sleep and puke all day long and still have my really bad moments of the day.

Yes, at almost 16 weeks, I am still getting sick and live with all day nausau. The bright side is that some of my energy has picked up and am able to function a little more. My house is starting to get clean again, I have picked up yarn without running to the bathroom and I am right now typing on my computer! Who would have thoughts that these would be huge accomplishments in my life right now??

With this big announcement, I will be adding a weekly baby update to my blog because once I am on bed rest I won’t have much else to do besides crochet and be on my computer! I look foward to sharing my good and ugly moments of pregnancy with all of you.

Facebook and Relationship Age Gap

Prior to today, I haven’t mentioned my boyfriend to much but after a 6 hour “discussion” last night… it’s time to talk about our relationship. There is 10 year age difference between my boyfriend(45) and I(35), almost to the day. When we are together, you can’t tell an age difference because we can laugh and play and have fun but our issues do come up.

Last night’s “discussion” (which is in parentheses because he said it was us talking when to me I was fighting with him over this) was about Facebook. At 35, I am on multiple social media apps which helps me run my handmade business. I love posting on my social media because I love to brag about my life or vent about my life. In the past, I have posted about my relationships because I am proud of who I am with and what makes me happy. 

On the other hand, my boyfriend rarely posts and has made it clear to me that he doesn’t post and especially doesn’t post about his relationships. For months, I kept my mouth shut and tried to be ok with it. That was until the miscarriage, in my moments of anger I haven’t been holding back my thoughts and this was one of them. My boyfriend and I want to one day get married and try for another baby but I told him I didn’t want those things with him if I have to feel like I’m hiding parts of my life because his refusal to post about our relationship. He wanted me to only refer to him as my boyfriend and never tag him which hurt me because it felt like I was being hidden.

So we talked for 6 hours and eventually we realized that the 10 year age gap is the reason behind both of us looking at Facebook differently. He sees Facebook as way to communicate with friends but not opening his life up to the world. Whereas, I see Facebook as a place to tell the world about how my life is going because I don’t have the time to talk to each person individually. Eventually, he did see what I was saying and how I was feeling about how I don’t like the feeling of hiding my life. We are taking baby steps towards exposing him to posting on Facebook.

There is no doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my life with this man and have a child with him. In the same breathe, I won’t hide my life from the world and in this day and age the world is on social media.

Heartbreak of a Miscarriage 

Words can never be enough to express how a mother feels when she loses a baby whether that baby is 20 years old, 20 days old or never made into their mothers arms. My heart feels completely broken tonight as I suffer through my 3rd miscarriage. 

It has been 4 years since my last miscarriage and this time was so different. I am with someone new, whom I love with all my heart. We were so excited when the sticks came back positive but I kept spotting which for any woman wanting a baby is the most dreadful thing to see. The spotting was on and off for 2 weeks since I found out I was pregnant. I went to the ER because I was so concerned over the spotting and mild cramping but they couldn’t find anything wrong… or the baby! 

The ultrasound found nothing in my uterus, no sac no fetal pole but nothing in my Fallopian tubes which was a positive thing because an ectopic could mean no future children. I was told that it could just be to early (5 weeks pregnant) to see anything. They sent me for follow up bloodwork to see if my levels were rising which they did but not much. 

Fast forward 4 days, after a weekend of morning sickness and sore breasts and constipation and bloating, I woke feeling like something was off. I went to work and went to the bathroom…. there is was the dreaded spotting was back. I drank more water and prayed while I waited on my customers. I checked again and the bleeding became heavier and my heart sank. I knew what was happening… I was losing my baby.

By the time I got home, I began to pass a clot and the bleeding has gotten heavier with some cramping. I had to hold it together until my 9 year old daughter went to bed. The moment she got into the shower, I lost it and started sobbing uncontrollably with no stopping in sight. 

As I was texting my boyfriend between tears, I realized I wanted to share my lose with others, to help other women get through what I am going through. It’s a heartbreaking situation and will never ease the pain of losing a child whether you held them in your arms or not but sharing with others can let you know your not alone. I will continue to post about how things how and how I’m feeling as I lose this baby and try for another in the future. 

Baby dust for all of you that have lost a baby and are trying for another baby.