Finding Ways to be Thankful

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Today is #thankfulthursday and I am not going to lie, I have had a hard time coming up with one thing that I am thankful for. Part of this is because some of the things make me feel materialistic and other things feel like given things in life.

Yes, everyone is thankful for the basics in life like food, water, shelter and clothing. Thing is, there was a time in my life where I was living in my car and lived in a homeless shelter. There is a time where I was trying to come up with change just to find money for food. If you look in my drawers, most of my clothes are from 10 or more years ago, from thrift stores or cheap clothing from Walmart. At least I have clothing to wear right now.

Lately, things feel like they have been going in opposite direction that I want which can be so frustrating and makes it hard to find the things to thank the universe or your Higher Power for. Sometimes, you need to step back and remember the basics in life and that the rest is just an added bonus.

My housing situation isn’t ideal right now but at least we have a place to live that allows us to keep our special puppy. We need to move and finding a place that will fit our family and puppy has been the most difficult thing in the world. I wish we had the money to buy the house we are living in or another house but it is a very difficult option right now. All we can do is to continue to look and the right place will find us.

Holding to a meal budget has been such a difficult thing for my entire adult life. I will make a list, purchase what is on the list (online grocery shopping has made this so much easier), stand at the fridge or cabinet and struggle to find something to make or eat. So then I blow the budge out of the water because I end up getting takeout somewhere. I need to learn how to stick to a meal plan, meal budget and learn to be creative with the food I buy because there was a time when I didn’t get a choice of what I ate. I need to be thankful for any and all food and not be so damn picky.

I went from having a job that I could afford to buy my first Coach purse and Jimmy Choo shoes. High end clothing, handbags and shoes was my life over 15 years ago but that all changed in an instant. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to be able to afford those luxury items again but they don’t make my world go round now. I have always been one to shop at consignment and thrift stores which I have found some amazing deals.

I have 2 specific claim to fame for my finds… My first amazing find was a vintage knee-length wool coat that zipped up the left side and had a corset-type ribbon back. My words can’t even describe who gorgeous this coat looked but someone stopped me on the streets of SOHO New York and offered to buy the coat off my back for a client of his (he was a personal stylist). As tempting as the offer was, I cherished that coat and declined. Unfortunately, when I became homeless I lost the coat. My second claim to fame was finding a BRAND NEW WITH TAGS Baby Dior outfit at a Salvation Army store for Danyella. Now when I found this outfit, it was before I even knew she was a girl but I couldn’t resist not buying this amazing outfit and thankfully she was a girl!

Since the only decent, affordable consignment shops (yes there are ones that are way overpriced for used clothing!) are a bit of a drive for me, my options have been limited especially since getting pregnant. I know that there is online shopping but I still prefer to go to a store and try clothes on so I know that they fit right. My go to is either Target or Walmart which sometimes you can feel the (lack of) quality that you are buying with cheap clothing. One good deal I have found at Walmart has been these super-soft, stretchy shirts for $5 for a short sleeve shirt. They had them in basic navy, black, maroon and olive-green colors which I bought XL in each size because they are large enough to cover my growing belly. I was super, super excited to find them in long sleeve (only $6.88) in some Halloween prints and other solid colors which I bought in 1XL and 2XL to keep me going while my belly grows. I wish I could afford the adorable pregnancy clothing on the market but it really isn’t an option when you are out of work for most of your pregnancy so I am sticking to these comfortable, affordable shirts and leggings.

Sometimes we take the basic things in our life for granted when we need to step back and be thankful for these necessities because life could be worse one day or you could have worked your way up from a situation that is worse than it is right now.

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Journey to a Healthy Body

39e66afc5bbd472bd974db4442b82b17 People always tell me that you need to love the body you are in and love yourself if you want to be happy. Well… I half agree with that statement because yes I do need to love myself but it doesn’t mean I am going to be happy with the changes that have been going on in my body. There are women that love themselves whether they are 105 pounds and petite or 205 pounds and curvy. I am not one of those women!

Currently I am 158 pounds and continuing to gain weight despite my efforts to work out and change my eating habits. I have been working out 4-5 times a week, practicing yoga almost daily and have cut out most carbs and sugars plus increased my intake of fresh fruits/veggies and water but I continue to gain weight. I am exhausted everyday, even if I can take a nap, I just want to continue to sleep and my body hurts all the time.

Part of me wonders if there is something more going on with my body then the tests are revealing. I have been going to the doctor for 2 years for sleep problems and my body pain. All that was revealed was the I have herniated discs in my neck that “could” be effecting my nerve endings in my body. It is frustrating and depressing that my body feels this miserable and my attempts at living a healthier lifestyle has increased my weight instead of decrease my weight and pain. I took myself off the medication that aided in my pain relief because my significant other and I are trying to have a baby after my miscarriage in January. We have pushed to change to a healthier lifestyle to help aid in trying to conceive so this just adds to my frustrations with my weight.

Happiness is a mind over matter situation but your matter affects your mind especially when it comes to self love. I want to feel happy and healthy with my body, mind and life so this is going to be a long journey in my life that will require even more changes to give me those results I seek.

On Mondays, I am going to blog about my journey with my weight, body and happiness within.