Turning 28 Weeks during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month

Girl Meets Grill presents

Today, I turn 28 weeks and am officially in the Third Trimester but tomorrow is a somber day because it is October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It is somber because I am one those women that have lost a baby that I never got to meet. I am 1 in 4.

It is so hard to really wrap my head around the fact that I am a statistic but I have had miscarriages in my first trimester and one in my second trimester. That moment when you just know something is wrong and the doctor confirms, the baby is no longer viable (able to continue to grow), is the one of the worst moments a woman can go through no matter if it is your first miscarriage or 4th.

My body is the type that responds to pregnancy almost immediately so I feel those symptoms very early. So when I have lost those babies, it was like losing a piece of my heart, especially with the 2nd trimester loss. That one, I went through morning sickness and cravings. I went for my routine ultrasound but when the tech became very quiet and went to get the doctor, I knew it was over. There was no heartbeat. I fell into a depression after that miscarriage which took a long time to recover from.

In January, I went through my last miscarriage which was not any easier but we agreed to try for another one. We tried for a couple of months but stress and life made doing the deed to make a baby less and less frequent so when I realized I was pregnant again we were both shocked but so happy. I still analyze every time I go to the bathroom that something could be wrong but everything with the baby has been great. We are now in our third trimester!

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Finding Ways to be Thankful

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Today is #thankfulthursday and I am not going to lie, I have had a hard time coming up with one thing that I am thankful for. Part of this is because some of the things make me feel materialistic and other things feel like given things in life.

Yes, everyone is thankful for the basics in life like food, water, shelter and clothing. Thing is, there was a time in my life where I was living in my car and lived in a homeless shelter. There is a time where I was trying to come up with change just to find money for food. If you look in my drawers, most of my clothes are from 10 or more years ago, from thrift stores or cheap clothing from Walmart. At least I have clothing to wear right now.

Lately, things feel like they have been going in opposite direction that I want which can be so frustrating and makes it hard to find the things to thank the universe or your Higher Power for. Sometimes, you need to step back and remember the basics in life and that the rest is just an added bonus.

My housing situation isn’t ideal right now but at least we have a place to live that allows us to keep our special puppy. We need to move and finding a place that will fit our family and puppy has been the most difficult thing in the world. I wish we had the money to buy the house we are living in or another house but it is a very difficult option right now. All we can do is to continue to look and the right place will find us.

Holding to a meal budget has been such a difficult thing for my entire adult life. I will make a list, purchase what is on the list (online grocery shopping has made this so much easier), stand at the fridge or cabinet and struggle to find something to make or eat. So then I blow the budge out of the water because I end up getting takeout somewhere. I need to learn how to stick to a meal plan, meal budget and learn to be creative with the food I buy because there was a time when I didn’t get a choice of what I ate. I need to be thankful for any and all food and not be so damn picky.

I went from having a job that I could afford to buy my first Coach purse and Jimmy Choo shoes. High end clothing, handbags and shoes was my life over 15 years ago but that all changed in an instant. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to be able to afford those luxury items again but they don’t make my world go round now. I have always been one to shop at consignment and thrift stores which I have found some amazing deals.

I have 2 specific claim to fame for my finds… My first amazing find was a vintage knee-length wool coat that zipped up the left side and had a corset-type ribbon back. My words can’t even describe who gorgeous this coat looked but someone stopped me on the streets of SOHO New York and offered to buy the coat off my back for a client of his (he was a personal stylist). As tempting as the offer was, I cherished that coat and declined. Unfortunately, when I became homeless I lost the coat. My second claim to fame was finding a BRAND NEW WITH TAGS Baby Dior outfit at a Salvation Army store for Danyella. Now when I found this outfit, it was before I even knew she was a girl but I couldn’t resist not buying this amazing outfit and thankfully she was a girl!

Since the only decent, affordable consignment shops (yes there are ones that are way overpriced for used clothing!) are a bit of a drive for me, my options have been limited especially since getting pregnant. I know that there is online shopping but I still prefer to go to a store and try clothes on so I know that they fit right. My go to is either Target or Walmart which sometimes you can feel the (lack of) quality that you are buying with cheap clothing. One good deal I have found at Walmart has been these super-soft, stretchy shirts for $5 for a short sleeve shirt. They had them in basic navy, black, maroon and olive-green colors which I bought XL in each size because they are large enough to cover my growing belly. I was super, super excited to find them in long sleeve (only $6.88) in some Halloween prints and other solid colors which I bought in 1XL and 2XL to keep me going while my belly grows. I wish I could afford the adorable pregnancy clothing on the market but it really isn’t an option when you are out of work for most of your pregnancy so I am sticking to these comfortable, affordable shirts and leggings.

Sometimes we take the basic things in our life for granted when we need to step back and be thankful for these necessities because life could be worse one day or you could have worked your way up from a situation that is worse than it is right now.

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27 Weeks and Low Blood Pressure

27 Weeks

It is my last week in my 2nd trimester and I finally beginning to understand why I have been feeling like well crap. For weeks, I have been told that my blood pressure was just way to low, and I needed to work on making it higher. For pregnant women, you usually hear a doctor be concerned about high blood pressure but there are the rare few that suffer from just the opposite, low blood pressure.

At the Maternal Fetal Medicine office, they have been checking my blood pressure every week when I get my shot. This is where the concern for the continued drop in blood pressure has been voiced the most. Their suggest was to drink a Gatorade everyday to help with my sodium and electrolyte intake which should help my blood pressure rise. The other day, I went to see my regular (delivering) OB and the nurse was concerned that my blood pressure was high. When I asked the numbers, she said it was 121/68 which was high compared to my previous visits. My response was that the Gatorade must be working!

I will admit, it has been extremely difficult for me to drink Gatorade, Powerade or any other ade with electrolytes because I don’t like the after taste and it gives me heartburn. I found a Gatorade called Flow Smooth in 2 different flavors and not only do I like the flavors but there hasn’t been any side effects either! WIN WIN

My OB explained that the low blood pressure was, more than likely, the cause of how uncomfortable and crappy I have been feeling every single day. Low blood pressure has accounted for my dizzy and light headed spells that I frequently have had, some days multiple times a day. I chalked up my shortness in breath to the baby pushing into my ribs and growing bigger but the lower blood pressure actually contributed to my breathing issues. Plus, I can tell it is low when I begin to see spots in my vision. Lastly, it was explained that some of my headaches and general weakness is more than likely from the low blood pressure.

Now that I have been drinking a Gatorade a day, I can definitely feel a difference. The spots and headaches are not as frequent. I still feel pretty weak and dizzy at moments but its been my cue to drink some Gatorade and then I start to feel better or I end up taking a nap. OH a nap sounds so good right now! Ok I am off to take a nap before I have to write a paper tonight.

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Thankful for my OB Nurse #thankfulthursday

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Wednesdays are my baby doctor appointment days which since July my rear end has been seen by my high risk OB nurse every week. Why you ask am I showing my OB nurse my rear end every week?

Well since I have had 2 preemie babies, my doctors wanted me on weekly progesterone shots that are administered by Maternal Fetal Medicine office. So every Wednesday, I walk into the office, Nurse Charlie gets my shot ready and then I expose my back end. It can be quite embarassing the bigger that I get and the bigger my pants and panties get.

I am sure that Nurse Charlie sees many rear ends every week and it is just another day to her but as a self conscious pregnant woman it is a HUGE (not just my rear end) deal to me. The plan is that I continue my weekly shots until I am 38 weeks (if I make it that long) so I will be exposing myself weekly to Nurse Charlie for another 12 weeks. Oh boy!

Something that I have learned in my pregnancies, is that it is really the nurses that make sure that us hormonal, pregnant are doing what we need to do for our babies and are really good while we grow a human inside of us. When I switched my insurances, my copay for the progesterone shots were over $1000 a month which just wasn’t going to happen now that we are on one full time income. When I brought this up to Nurse Charlie, she is the one that has bent over backwards to make sure that I got the shots that I needed and at a price that I could afford. She is the one that has checked on me at home when I have gone in with bad side effects of the pregnancy like low blood pressure that has been making me light headed and have fainting spells.

I truly can’t thank Nurse Charlie enough for going above and beyond for myself and my baby girl while she is still growing inside my big ole belly. If you are pregnant, make sure you thank your OB nurse because they truly care about their patients, the big ones and little ones.

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Positively Grounding a Tween

Tween Positive GroundingTypically, Thursdays are my days to write about being thankful but after my experience with Danyella yesterday, today is going to be a special subject day…. Grounding a Tween in a Positive Way. I know that at her age, that kids are struggling with still being a child and struggling with wanting to be treated like they are older or an adult. This doesn’t mean that a child can treat others in a disrespectful way which is where we are struggling with Danyella. She feels that she can speak to the adults that care for her in any way she feels fit and continue to do the things that she enjoys. Well she is about to find out that life doesn’t work that way.

In the adult world, if we spoke to each our bosses in this rude manner then we would be fired from our job. If we spoke to a police officer in this rude manner then we would be arrested and spend sometime in jail. If we spoke to our friends in this rude manner then we would be become friends, quickly. If we spoke to our significant other in this rude manner then we would be dumped and living a single life. If we spoke to our loved ones in this rude manner then we would be living a very lonely life. So why do we allow our children to speak and react in rude manners when adults cannot act like that?

Well in my house and family it is not allowed. I will admit that I made many excuses and let things go because I felt Danyella has gone through a lot of change in her 10 years especially with a new baby on the way. The problem with the excuses is that I created a monster that thinks she controls the adults instead of respecting them.

After her meltdown yesterday which was over the fact that she didn’t get her dance leotards into the laundry after I (or so I thought) finished all of the laundry. She flipped out about everything and anything that came to her mind at that point. She refused to go to dance which normally I would make her stay home but instead she was sent without being in her required clothing so that she had to explain why to her teacher. She will be coming home today only to find her room quite empty…. no TV, no toys! Just her clothes, bed and books will be left which she will be earning her items back through a point system.

I had seen someone post this as a meme a while back and the idea sat with me so this morning I decided to make my own point earning system including chores that she fights with me over and positive activities that are required for her to complete in order to earn her items back. I will be posting how this first time goes in Monday’s post so be on the look out.

Print The Grounded Points Chart Congratulations You are grounded

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24 Weeks and a Big Milestone Reached

24 WeeksThe Baby is the size of a Cantaloupe!

In the beginning of my pregnancy, hitting 24 weeks felt like it was a lifetime away. As a new problem in my pregnancy arose, each week became a blessing that my baby girl was growing a little bigger. Our first milestone was to reach 24 weeks where the baby has a chance of survival if my complications made my body delivery this baby before the “normal” 40 weeks.

Most moms are so excited to reach this point because they are more than half way through their pregnancy and enjoying their upcoming baby shower. For myself, it is enjoying each week as it comes because that means she is getting a little bigger and will have less complications and time in the NICU if she born this early.

A little update on me and the pregnancy… still getting sick but not as often. When I went in for weekly Makena shot on Wednesday, I was given a lecture (kinda a kick in the butt) that I need to drink more water and add some Gatorade to my diet because my blood pressure was 80/49. I am normally low but never that low which would explain why I have been feeling more tired (besides being a mom and college student and pregnant), drained faster then normal plus very light headed. If you know me, you know how much I loathe the taste of Gatorade, Powerade any ade except Lemonade! So I am trying my hardest to drink at least a bottle of it a day but haven’t felt much of a difference yet but I am tolerating the Powerade strawberry lemonade.

My little cantaloupe is moving all about and loves to push her head into my ribs so I can’t breathe, which I wonder if that contributes to my still getting sick to my stomach. She loves to make her presence be known when I am sitting in class. As I am rubbing my belly to calm her down, my professors are looking at me like I am about to go into labor any minute…. don’t jinx me yet! Now that I have reached the doctor’s goal of 24 weeks, my next goal is 30 weeks which is right around Aidan’s 15th birthday. He was born at 30 weeks and is now a football player in high school. Lets see what the next 6 weeks brings us!

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As I am buying something each week for the baby this is what I found this week. (You can click on the image or the words to go to Amazon to purchase for youself)

Infantino Sash Wrap and Tie Baby Carrier

This was my best friend with Danyella because I could cart her anywhere without the carseat or stroller!

Luvable Friends Animal Face Hooded Towel, Purple Penguin

Hooded Towels are essential because they are much easier to dry baby off and wrap them snuggly warm after a bath.

Carter’s Baby Girls’ 3 Piece Adorable Penguin Little Character Set 3 Months

I could not resist this outfit with the cute penguin on the butt of the pants!

 

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23 Weeks What Does Baby Really Need?

What Does Baby Need When They Come Home From The Hospital

Let’s start out talking about what does this little baby need vs Mommy wants when they come home? This has been a HUGE topic of discussion in my Baby Mamas group because most of us are on a tight budget and can’t afford the top of the line products or every cool product out there. Plus there are some, like us, that will not be setting up a designated nursery for the baby because either there isn’t space or isn’t necessary for a tiny human.

Like I mentioned above, we will not be setting up a nursery for Baby Evelynne because I just don’t see it necessary in the beginning for so many reasons. The biggest reason is that I will be breastfeeding and if she is anything like Danyella, she will be up every 3 hours like clockwork. Our bed is not big enough for one of those co-sleepers so my mom bought us the Pack N Play that I had picked out. I am in love with this Pack N Play From Graco called Cuddle Cove because it has the bassinet part, changing table and removable baby vibrating seat. That is 3 things off my list in one!

Being my 4th kid, I am not concerned about having a designated area for changing the baby because you learn to change the baby any where you can find space. On the other hand, a seat or swing is something that is key to my needs. Danyella wouldn’t and couldn’t be soothed without her vibrating seat and they were not as comfy then as they are now.

The next obvious baby need is a car seat and preferably one with a stroller because you want the ease to click and roll with the baby once you take the baby out of the house. There are soooo many different brands, options and price ranges to choose from which will be a future post trust me! I have yet to purchase this because I don’t know where to start now.

Home essentials for the baby that may feel logical but as a mom with pregnancy brain, I don’t always think about when I am searching through the sale racks at the stores…. Bottles, extra nipples, bottle warmer, bottle cleaner and rack. Not all babies like all bottles so I suggest getting a sampling of different ones until you find the one that baby loves the most. One easy way to do this is take advantage of the free baby boxes because each one features different types of bottles. If you are breastfeeding, bottles are still handy to have because you can pump and let dad feed the baby to give a break to shower.

Onto breastfeeding, you will want a breast pump because it will help make your life a lot easier at times to let others feed the baby or relieve some of the pressure if the baby doesn’t eat enough and you become engorged (another post for another time). Also, you will want nursing bras, pads and ointment for making breastfeeding an enjoyable experience for both you and baby.

Blankets, blankets, blankets. You will want warm blankets, receiving blankets, swaddling blankets and burp clothes. Different varieties of blankets aid your baby and your needs in different ways. Some are for when they fall asleep in the vibrating chair and you want to keep them warm while you watch your angel sleep. Some of these are swaddling blankets because most (not Danyella) babies love to be swaddled and feel safe. Some are just for cleaning up messes because babies are just messy.

To make carrying baby around the house a lot easier and comfortable for you, get a baby carrier. Whether it is sling, wrap or soft structured carrier, baby will love being close to mommy or daddy and it will help you get things done around the house like dishes and laundry.

Bathtime fun will need a tub or sling plus towels, wash clothes, baby soap and lotion. You want to keep baby safe but clean with baby soap so be sure to watch for any reactions baby might have to a soap or lotion.

Now for clothing… Some of this will depend on the weather of your area! You will want onesies. Not just the cute ones with sayings or animals but the plain ones for when they are messy. Bodysuits are great for when you take baby out especially in cold weather. Baby gowns were my best friend when baby first came home because it as so much easier to change them and clean their belly button. (yes there are gowns for boys too!) Shirts, pants, shorts, dresses (depending on your weather and preference) in a variety of sizes from newborn to 3/6 months. Another baby NEED is the mittens because their nails grow fast and babies love to scratch at their face. Bibs because babies drool and spit up and they help to save those clothes for future babies.  Socks are great for the cold weather to keep their feet warm but shoes are not a necessity until they are old enough to crawl/walk. Even in the warm weather, you want to keep a hat on baby because you want to keep their warm inside because baby’s tend to get colder, easier. Sleep Sacks are something new to me but I am putting them on the list after hearing the opinions of others and online reviews.

The last obvious baby need is diapers, whether its disposable or cloth, you will want a stock up of different sizes for the first few months because babies will be born at different weights and grow at different rates. Plus, you will want wipes for those yucky diapers but you do not need a baby wipe warmer. To go with the diapers is a diaper pail! Yes you will want to save your nose with one of these.

So this is my list of essential items which I may adjust this list as time goes by and I find new items on the market. I hope it helps any new moms or moms that are starting over like me! You can print this list by click What Does Baby Need When They Come Home From The Hospital

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Finally we are on to my Weekly Evelynne update… We had our bi-weekly ultrasound and so happy to report that my placenta has moved so we are currently out of the woods with placenta previa. She is breach but has time to move herself around and move does she ever. Evelynne is super active especially when she hears the dog barking like she wants to come out and play. Since I started school this week, Evelynne had her first day of classes and I was given the idea to make a sign for my art class like all the other kids get on their first day of school. Contractions come and go and her position has made breathing, especially at night, quite difficult. I am still craving salads, seafood and everything pumpkin (thank goodness it is fall again!). I am dying for sushi but california rolls are not cutting it so the countdown to sushi and wine are on!