Turning 28 Weeks during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Month

Girl Meets Grill presents

Today, I turn 28 weeks and am officially in the Third Trimester but tomorrow is a somber day because it is October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It is somber because I am one those women that have lost a baby that I never got to meet. I am 1 in 4.

It is so hard to really wrap my head around the fact that I am a statistic but I have had miscarriages in my first trimester and one in my second trimester. That moment when you just know something is wrong and the doctor confirms, the baby is no longer viable (able to continue to grow), is the one of the worst moments a woman can go through no matter if it is your first miscarriage or 4th.

My body is the type that responds to pregnancy almost immediately so I feel those symptoms very early. So when I have lost those babies, it was like losing a piece of my heart, especially with the 2nd trimester loss. That one, I went through morning sickness and cravings. I went for my routine ultrasound but when the tech became very quiet and went to get the doctor, I knew it was over. There was no heartbeat. I fell into a depression after that miscarriage which took a long time to recover from.

In January, I went through my last miscarriage which was not any easier but we agreed to try for another one. We tried for a couple of months but stress and life made doing the deed to make a baby less and less frequent so when I realized I was pregnant again we were both shocked but so happy. I still analyze every time I go to the bathroom that something could be wrong but everything with the baby has been great. We are now in our third trimester!

de3e425462f1b3bedd7783e0ea46b6b7--october-awareness-month-infant-loss-quotes

Advertisements

Finding Ways to be Thankful

stay positive (2)

Today is #thankfulthursday and I am not going to lie, I have had a hard time coming up with one thing that I am thankful for. Part of this is because some of the things make me feel materialistic and other things feel like given things in life.

Yes, everyone is thankful for the basics in life like food, water, shelter and clothing. Thing is, there was a time in my life where I was living in my car and lived in a homeless shelter. There is a time where I was trying to come up with change just to find money for food. If you look in my drawers, most of my clothes are from 10 or more years ago, from thrift stores or cheap clothing from Walmart. At least I have clothing to wear right now.

Lately, things feel like they have been going in opposite direction that I want which can be so frustrating and makes it hard to find the things to thank the universe or your Higher Power for. Sometimes, you need to step back and remember the basics in life and that the rest is just an added bonus.

My housing situation isn’t ideal right now but at least we have a place to live that allows us to keep our special puppy. We need to move and finding a place that will fit our family and puppy has been the most difficult thing in the world. I wish we had the money to buy the house we are living in or another house but it is a very difficult option right now. All we can do is to continue to look and the right place will find us.

Holding to a meal budget has been such a difficult thing for my entire adult life. I will make a list, purchase what is on the list (online grocery shopping has made this so much easier), stand at the fridge or cabinet and struggle to find something to make or eat. So then I blow the budge out of the water because I end up getting takeout somewhere. I need to learn how to stick to a meal plan, meal budget and learn to be creative with the food I buy because there was a time when I didn’t get a choice of what I ate. I need to be thankful for any and all food and not be so damn picky.

I went from having a job that I could afford to buy my first Coach purse and Jimmy Choo shoes. High end clothing, handbags and shoes was my life over 15 years ago but that all changed in an instant. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to be able to afford those luxury items again but they don’t make my world go round now. I have always been one to shop at consignment and thrift stores which I have found some amazing deals.

I have 2 specific claim to fame for my finds… My first amazing find was a vintage knee-length wool coat that zipped up the left side and had a corset-type ribbon back. My words can’t even describe who gorgeous this coat looked but someone stopped me on the streets of SOHO New York and offered to buy the coat off my back for a client of his (he was a personal stylist). As tempting as the offer was, I cherished that coat and declined. Unfortunately, when I became homeless I lost the coat. My second claim to fame was finding a BRAND NEW WITH TAGS Baby Dior outfit at a Salvation Army store for Danyella. Now when I found this outfit, it was before I even knew she was a girl but I couldn’t resist not buying this amazing outfit and thankfully she was a girl!

Since the only decent, affordable consignment shops (yes there are ones that are way overpriced for used clothing!) are a bit of a drive for me, my options have been limited especially since getting pregnant. I know that there is online shopping but I still prefer to go to a store and try clothes on so I know that they fit right. My go to is either Target or Walmart which sometimes you can feel the (lack of) quality that you are buying with cheap clothing. One good deal I have found at Walmart has been these super-soft, stretchy shirts for $5 for a short sleeve shirt. They had them in basic navy, black, maroon and olive-green colors which I bought XL in each size because they are large enough to cover my growing belly. I was super, super excited to find them in long sleeve (only $6.88) in some Halloween prints and other solid colors which I bought in 1XL and 2XL to keep me going while my belly grows. I wish I could afford the adorable pregnancy clothing on the market but it really isn’t an option when you are out of work for most of your pregnancy so I am sticking to these comfortable, affordable shirts and leggings.

Sometimes we take the basic things in our life for granted when we need to step back and be thankful for these necessities because life could be worse one day or you could have worked your way up from a situation that is worse than it is right now.

thankful

27 Weeks and Low Blood Pressure

27 Weeks

It is my last week in my 2nd trimester and I finally beginning to understand why I have been feeling like well crap. For weeks, I have been told that my blood pressure was just way to low, and I needed to work on making it higher. For pregnant women, you usually hear a doctor be concerned about high blood pressure but there are the rare few that suffer from just the opposite, low blood pressure.

At the Maternal Fetal Medicine office, they have been checking my blood pressure every week when I get my shot. This is where the concern for the continued drop in blood pressure has been voiced the most. Their suggest was to drink a Gatorade everyday to help with my sodium and electrolyte intake which should help my blood pressure rise. The other day, I went to see my regular (delivering) OB and the nurse was concerned that my blood pressure was high. When I asked the numbers, she said it was 121/68 which was high compared to my previous visits. My response was that the Gatorade must be working!

I will admit, it has been extremely difficult for me to drink Gatorade, Powerade or any other ade with electrolytes because I don’t like the after taste and it gives me heartburn. I found a Gatorade called Flow Smooth in 2 different flavors and not only do I like the flavors but there hasn’t been any side effects either! WIN WIN

My OB explained that the low blood pressure was, more than likely, the cause of how uncomfortable and crappy I have been feeling every single day. Low blood pressure has accounted for my dizzy and light headed spells that I frequently have had, some days multiple times a day. I chalked up my shortness in breath to the baby pushing into my ribs and growing bigger but the lower blood pressure actually contributed to my breathing issues. Plus, I can tell it is low when I begin to see spots in my vision. Lastly, it was explained that some of my headaches and general weakness is more than likely from the low blood pressure.

Now that I have been drinking a Gatorade a day, I can definitely feel a difference. The spots and headaches are not as frequent. I still feel pretty weak and dizzy at moments but its been my cue to drink some Gatorade and then I start to feel better or I end up taking a nap. OH a nap sounds so good right now! Ok I am off to take a nap before I have to write a paper tonight.

nap

Thankful for my OB Nurse #thankfulthursday

stay positive

Wednesdays are my baby doctor appointment days which since July my rear end has been seen by my high risk OB nurse every week. Why you ask am I showing my OB nurse my rear end every week?

Well since I have had 2 preemie babies, my doctors wanted me on weekly progesterone shots that are administered by Maternal Fetal Medicine office. So every Wednesday, I walk into the office, Nurse Charlie gets my shot ready and then I expose my back end. It can be quite embarassing the bigger that I get and the bigger my pants and panties get.

I am sure that Nurse Charlie sees many rear ends every week and it is just another day to her but as a self conscious pregnant woman it is a HUGE (not just my rear end) deal to me. The plan is that I continue my weekly shots until I am 38 weeks (if I make it that long) so I will be exposing myself weekly to Nurse Charlie for another 12 weeks. Oh boy!

Something that I have learned in my pregnancies, is that it is really the nurses that make sure that us hormonal, pregnant are doing what we need to do for our babies and are really good while we grow a human inside of us. When I switched my insurances, my copay for the progesterone shots were over $1000 a month which just wasn’t going to happen now that we are on one full time income. When I brought this up to Nurse Charlie, she is the one that has bent over backwards to make sure that I got the shots that I needed and at a price that I could afford. She is the one that has checked on me at home when I have gone in with bad side effects of the pregnancy like low blood pressure that has been making me light headed and have fainting spells.

I truly can’t thank Nurse Charlie enough for going above and beyond for myself and my baby girl while she is still growing inside my big ole belly. If you are pregnant, make sure you thank your OB nurse because they truly care about their patients, the big ones and little ones.

01623cc6779b80874dbfe3775c0d16a7

5 Steps to Save for A Family Vacation

5 Steps to Save for a Family Vacation

One thing that I haven’t gotten to do but have wanted to do for so long is take Danyella on a family vacation. We have done fun day trips or trips where we went away for a couple of days but never an actual vacation. At 10 years old, she has been dying to go away and learn more about the world and see other places. Top of both of our list is…. Disney World!

Yes I know so cliché to want to go to Disney World but as an artist and artist in the making, Disney World is filled with so much art and entertainment and just fun that why would a kid of any age want to go. I have been there once and that was 14 years ago when both the older kids were just little ones. It was fun but in that time there has been so many changes to Disney World that it is time to go back. So now it is time to find the money to go down….

We are a credit card free family which means we save our cash for our bills and entertainment. If you are looking for ways to save for your Family Vacation without running to your credit card then this is where these tips will help us save for Disney World and you save for your family Vacation!

  1. Pick your Family Vacation and Dates! This is the most exciting part, besides going on the actual vacation, is picking where and when you want to go on vacation. Get your family involved in the process to see where everyone would like to go and make sure you have your calendar ready to see what dates you need to black out. I know in my family we have the dance recital the same week every June so that is a black out for us. Then there is arranging around when school starts and ends and other life events. Once you pick your destination and dates mark them down on your calender.   Orange Circle Studio 2018 Do It All Magnetic Wall Calendar, Aug. 2017 – Dec. 2018, Mom’s Do It All
  2. Set a Budget! This is the research phase of your trip planning. You will need to find out how much your trip is going to cost and how much you need to budget for the lodgings, transportation, food and spending money. Some places (like Disney) will offer packages that include the hotel, transportation (flights), and food. It is best to get this down on paper so you can see what you need and want to spend your money on. Another thing is to find out if the package or lodging wants a deposit or pay full at the time of your booking. Home Budget Workbook                                                                                                               
  3. Start a Savings Jar! This is something that I started for my girls Las Vegas trip about 6 months before our trip for my spending money. As a waitress, I lived off of my tips so I always had cash on me but I didn’t want to have to go to the bank every time I wanted to deposit the money for the trip. I am a visual person so I created a jar, got fun Las Vegas scrapbook stickers and decorated away. Everyday that I worked, I would take the couple of ones that I had left over and stuffed them into the jar. By the time I left for Las Vegas I had saved over $1000 and watching the jar fill up was making the countdown to the trip just as fun as the trip itself.My Las Vegas Trip Jar
  4. Break Down your Budget to Small Goals! How much do you want to save each month or week? Do you need to save for the deposit first? This is where a great notebook dedicated to your family vacation will help with setting and keeping your goals. Keep an eye on those goals so you know when you need to pay for specific things and where you need to increase your savings.Mead Spiral Notebook, 1 Subject, 70 College Ruled Sheets, Assorted Colors, 6 PACK (73065)                                                                                                     
  5. Find Small ways to Save Money! This is going to be the most important part of your saving for you trip is where you can save the money to go on vacation. I plan on highlighting different ways to find the extra money the rest of Sundays in October but here is just a few to think about… Grocery Shopping savings: Set your budget then when you use your coupons, take the left over money from your shopping and place it in your savings jar! Cut out your Dunkin or Starbucks coffee for a month and place that money in your savings jar! Use the savings apps to purchase gift cards or deposit in your Paypal account so you use it towards your trip!

I hope this encourages you to start your family vacation planning today! I will be highlighting ways to save for your trip every Sunday in October so keep an eye out. What ways have you and your family saved for your family vacation? 

I may earn a small commission for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial, andor link to any products or services from this website. Your purchase helps support my work in bringin

Emotional Burnout #MotivationMonday

boomnetting

It has been a week since I have been able to get a blog post out of me. If you look at my drafts, I started multiple posts but just couldn’t finish them. Yes time was a factor but if I am being truthful, my heart just wasn’t in it to write this past week. Being pregnant, I know that I am more emotional than usual but I would just sit and start crying multiple times throughout the day because this past weekend was my little brother’s 9th anniversary of his death and I was becoming emotionally burned out.

The week leading up to his anniversary is always an emotional one but we keep busy by planning his annual balloon release memorial service and cook out. Add the stress of the pregnancy hormones and the pregnancy itself… my stress level felt like it skyrocketed. Now add that my psych paper this week was on Addiction and basically I just mentally shut down.

More than once my boyfriend found me crying and when he would ask why, all I could muster up was that it was all too much this week and I couldn’t take it. In one week, I dealt with my brother’s death anniversary, my pregnancy complications (had a few close call fainting spells) and one of the Mama’s in my group had to have her twin boys early because of complications (I sat on the couch and cried for hours for those boys who are now in the NICU and getting stronger everyday). I just hit my end and crashed but it felt like every time I did something, I crashed all over again.

Last night was the first night I was able to get to bed and sleep before midnight which was a nice thing for me. I was living off of little sleep and an occasional nap. My poor boyfriend had his head bitten off more than once in an hour for the past week (sorry babe). I had the Mom Emotional Burn Out but this week it is time for recovery and get myself back on track.

Every mom has their emotional burn out moments trust me! Some are definitely not as extreme as mine but we all have them. The key is to let yourself feel your emotions, embrace the discomfort while it lasts and when you are ready, pick yourself up and love yourself again. Motivation Monday!

**On a little side note, my boyfriend has made it without to many scars through this pregnancy and other times so I have to say Happy Anniversary! I love you and everything you do for our family.

02c0f9509875ed818c0377787394a094

24 Weeks and a Big Milestone Reached

24 WeeksThe Baby is the size of a Cantaloupe!

In the beginning of my pregnancy, hitting 24 weeks felt like it was a lifetime away. As a new problem in my pregnancy arose, each week became a blessing that my baby girl was growing a little bigger. Our first milestone was to reach 24 weeks where the baby has a chance of survival if my complications made my body delivery this baby before the “normal” 40 weeks.

Most moms are so excited to reach this point because they are more than half way through their pregnancy and enjoying their upcoming baby shower. For myself, it is enjoying each week as it comes because that means she is getting a little bigger and will have less complications and time in the NICU if she born this early.

A little update on me and the pregnancy… still getting sick but not as often. When I went in for weekly Makena shot on Wednesday, I was given a lecture (kinda a kick in the butt) that I need to drink more water and add some Gatorade to my diet because my blood pressure was 80/49. I am normally low but never that low which would explain why I have been feeling more tired (besides being a mom and college student and pregnant), drained faster then normal plus very light headed. If you know me, you know how much I loathe the taste of Gatorade, Powerade any ade except Lemonade! So I am trying my hardest to drink at least a bottle of it a day but haven’t felt much of a difference yet but I am tolerating the Powerade strawberry lemonade.

My little cantaloupe is moving all about and loves to push her head into my ribs so I can’t breathe, which I wonder if that contributes to my still getting sick to my stomach. She loves to make her presence be known when I am sitting in class. As I am rubbing my belly to calm her down, my professors are looking at me like I am about to go into labor any minute…. don’t jinx me yet! Now that I have reached the doctor’s goal of 24 weeks, my next goal is 30 weeks which is right around Aidan’s 15th birthday. He was born at 30 weeks and is now a football player in high school. Lets see what the next 6 weeks brings us!

cc5427e0ae0a8a68721e5100e5c0c773

As I am buying something each week for the baby this is what I found this week. (You can click on the image or the words to go to Amazon to purchase for youself)

Infantino Sash Wrap and Tie Baby Carrier

This was my best friend with Danyella because I could cart her anywhere without the carseat or stroller!

Luvable Friends Animal Face Hooded Towel, Purple Penguin

Hooded Towels are essential because they are much easier to dry baby off and wrap them snuggly warm after a bath.

Carter’s Baby Girls’ 3 Piece Adorable Penguin Little Character Set 3 Months

I could not resist this outfit with the cute penguin on the butt of the pants!

 

I may earn a small commission for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial, andor link to any products or services from this website. Your purchase helps support my work in bringin