Our Rainbow Baby: Evelynne’s Birth Story

Evelynne's Birth Story

Our little rainbow, Evelynne Rue, was born exactly one week ago and her story is one that will always be special. Evelynne was born on New Year’s Day 2018 at 2:03am. She weighed in at 7 pounds 10 ounces and 21″ long. Evelynne will always have a special bond with her paternal grandfather because they will forever share a birthday!

Evelynne Rue was named after her Great-Grandparents, Evelynne is my husband’s paternal grandmother’s name and Rue is from LaRue, my maternal grandmother’s maiden name. I love my grandmother and miss her with all my heart but Evelynne Marjorie just didn’t flow as a name for me so I went with Rue.

Now for the story leading up to Evelynne’s arrival….

The days leading up to New Year’s Eve, I was trying every wives tale that I could find (the safe ones) to try to get my contractions to kick into high gear after months of contractions that did nothing but dialate me just a little bit but keep labor from coming and delivering her prematurely. I was drinking cups upon cups of double drewed Red Raspberry Leaf Tea, eating different foods people said worked for them, bouncing on an excercise ball all day and night, doing squats, walking up and down my stairs, a slew of other things. Even the day I went into labor I made the hubby take me to Walmart so that I could buy Evening Primerose Oil to try.

Then, on New Year’s Eve, the nesting kicked into full gear! Since we are approaching moving day, we didn’t set up her crib but I set up her Pack N Play with bassinet in our room for when she was born. I reorganized all of Evelynne’s clothes, diapers, wipes and other items. I organized everything in our room so that it was easier for when Evelynne was here and we had late night feedings and changings. I even began to organize and pack up my office, which I put off for as long as possible because I just didn’t feel like moving with the big belly.

Next, I decided I HAD TO MAKE BAKED ZITI! It was a must eat that night. My back was killing me but that didn’t stop my determination to make and eat homemade baked ziti. While I was going through the different steps of making the ziti, I turned on my man…. Adam and danced to Maroon 5. While I did all of this, I noticed my contractions were coming stronger and at a steady pace so I decided to time them. They were coming about 5-6 minutes apart at that point but we had been there before so when I kept bugging Doug about coming home from work, it took him over 2 hours to believe the contractions were real.

While I impatiently waited for Doug to come home, I took a bath and the contractions moved to 3-5 minutes apart. By the time Doug said he was on his way home, I called the on-call OB and they said come in to get checked. That was one of the most painful truck rides of my life because with every bump on the highway or every time he switched lanes, I felt it all through my body especially down below. (It didn’t help he had the business trailer still on the truck because the hitch was frozen).

We got into triage around 9pm and I was 4cm dilated which was a lot of progress for this pregnancy since I sat at 2cm for weeks. The contractions were a steady 3-4 minutes apart. The OBs were on the fence of whether to admit me or send me home and see if the labor continues because I wasn’t dilating much. Since we live 30 minutes away from the hospital and this was my 4th baby, I basically said I was too afraid to leave and deliver on the side of the road on New Year’s Eve. So I was admitted!

The OB resident gave me the option of getting the epidural as soon as we decided to admit me, which I said YES! They were keeping an eye on my dilation and effacement to break my water since she wasn’t wanting to descend and break the water on her own. Well, the epidural went horribly wrong! First, the anesthesiologist couldn’t get the epidural to insert correctly in the first location so then he tried another location. I was told it could take a 1/2 hour for it to really kick in. Let’s just say, the epidural never worked because I felt everything and by the time they came back to fix it, I was pushing Evelynne out! Now, I have had epidural in the past and never had problems like this.

My dilation and progression was still going slow so they gave me a small dose of Pitocin to speed things up. This was just before Midnight so we knew she wasn’t going to be our 2017 tax write off baby but our New Year’s Baby. Once that kicked in, they decided to break my water. It was all over after that….

I went from 6cm to 8cm in about a half hour, feeling every painful contraction and the feeling that my hips were breaking. The nurse set a peanut ball between my legs and had me on my side, which helped with the hip pain. Then, I went from 8cm to pushing in less than 15 minutes. That was the worst pain in my life! With Danyella, I woke up to my water breaking and her crowning, without an epidural, and didn’t feel the pain that I was feeling with Evelynne’s step by step labor.

It was time to push…

The nurse was getting everything set up for me to push as I lay on that bed wanting to die from the pain radiating through my lower half of my body. Doug was supposed to help hold my one leg up and I didn’t realize until after it was all done, he started feeling light-headed and ended up sitting on the couch next to the bed to avoid him collapsing while I was delivering Evelynne. I am unsure how long I was pushing for but it took 2 sets of 3 pushes and 4 pushes at the end to get Evelynne’s head out and then her body followed with one more push. The worst pain ever was for the best reason ever because after 9 months of the hardest pregnancy, Evelynne was here!

Evelynne took right to breastfeeding and had been a champ at it until my milk came in and I have been pumping to help with the painful engorgement. Other than her temperature dropping slightly right after she was born, she was doing great. After spending one night in the hospital, I was ready to go home and begged to have the OB release me since the pediatrician released Evelynne to go home. My back was in so much pain from the failed epidural that I just wanted my own bed. I got my wish and about 18 hours after I had Evelynne, we were home and in our own beds!

Evelynne was the first baby born in the hospitals network which was exciting but we missed being the first baby born in the area by an hour and half. We received lots of attention for the New Year’s Baby and even free gift card for professional photographs that are done in the hospital. I will always cherish those photographs because she used the Rainbow blanket I crochet for our Rainbow Baby! Now that Evelynne has blessed our lives for a week, we have gotten into our own little family routine. I can’t wait to share more of our stories with you on my new Mom Mondays!

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Positively Grounding a Tween

Tween Positive GroundingTypically, Thursdays are my days to write about being thankful but after my experience with Danyella yesterday, today is going to be a special subject day…. Grounding a Tween in a Positive Way. I know that at her age, that kids are struggling with still being a child and struggling with wanting to be treated like they are older or an adult. This doesn’t mean that a child can treat others in a disrespectful way which is where we are struggling with Danyella. She feels that she can speak to the adults that care for her in any way she feels fit and continue to do the things that she enjoys. Well she is about to find out that life doesn’t work that way.

In the adult world, if we spoke to each our bosses in this rude manner then we would be fired from our job. If we spoke to a police officer in this rude manner then we would be arrested and spend sometime in jail. If we spoke to our friends in this rude manner then we would be become friends, quickly. If we spoke to our significant other in this rude manner then we would be dumped and living a single life. If we spoke to our loved ones in this rude manner then we would be living a very lonely life. So why do we allow our children to speak and react in rude manners when adults cannot act like that?

Well in my house and family it is not allowed. I will admit that I made many excuses and let things go because I felt Danyella has gone through a lot of change in her 10 years especially with a new baby on the way. The problem with the excuses is that I created a monster that thinks she controls the adults instead of respecting them.

After her meltdown yesterday which was over the fact that she didn’t get her dance leotards into the laundry after I (or so I thought) finished all of the laundry. She flipped out about everything and anything that came to her mind at that point. She refused to go to dance which normally I would make her stay home but instead she was sent without being in her required clothing so that she had to explain why to her teacher. She will be coming home today only to find her room quite empty…. no TV, no toys! Just her clothes, bed and books will be left which she will be earning her items back through a point system.

I had seen someone post this as a meme a while back and the idea sat with me so this morning I decided to make my own point earning system including chores that she fights with me over and positive activities that are required for her to complete in order to earn her items back. I will be posting how this first time goes in Monday’s post so be on the look out.

Print The Grounded Points Chart Congratulations You are grounded

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Mom to a Tween Girl

Mom to a Tween Girl

Anyone that is mom to a tween sees their cute, adorable little girl with a touch (or bucket full) of attitude and sass that leaves you wondering… where did this child come from because this isn’t my sweet little girl. For the longest time, I thought it was just mine that acted like this but once the dance moms and I started our weekly chats, I learned that nearly all tween girls are like this and I am not alone!

My daughter will go from a sweet smile to tears to growing devil horns in about 5 seconds flat. You ask her to do something and it is met with an attitude like no other. I mean I thought this is what we dealt with when they became teens??

When you ask them to do their chores or anything at all to help…. wear body armour because dart will come spitting out of their mouth as they tell you “soon”, “in a minute” or “fine”. At the same time, she wants time to cuddle and be with her mom. It’s such a fine line when it comes to this tween age! 

Right now our biggest struggle has been technology or in her eyes “lack of technology”. She wants a phone and has been asking for one for the past 2 years but we are set that she doesn’t get one until she can show us responsibility aka keep her room clean and do her chores without a temper tantrum for more then a day! 

Raising a girl isn’t easy but a tween girl in this day and age just seems to be gettting so hard at least emotionally and mentally for this mom. Those rare “I love you” or “thank you” moments make enduring the attitude, slamming door and tears all worth it. Anyone else raising an emotional tween girl?

 

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Thankful For Being a Dance Mom #thankfulthursday

Thankful For Being A Dance Mom

Let me start off by saying, I am not one of “those” dance moms where I get all crazy and cut throat so that my child is the focus of the dance studio and rant all about the studio to get my way! Not my style unless I feel the need to step in because there is a problem or something comes up.

Even though the show “Dance Moms” is what inspired Danyella to want to take her first dance lesson at age 8, I vowed to never be one of those crazy sports moms because they just embarrass themselves and more importantly their child. Don’t get me wrong, the drama on that show can be addicting but I started watching it with Danyella years ago because she loved to watch the dances these girls would learn and perform in less than a week.

When Danyella first started out at the studio, she wanted to take Musical Theatre and Jazz. She wanted to take the musical theatre class because she loved watching me work on the costuming for local theatre shows when she was younger. With jazz, Danyella knew that it was fundamental in learning dance. I was shocked when I saw her excel in dance because in everyday life she is quite clutzy (don’t tell her I said that). Part way through the year, we added a ballet class to her dance schedule and Danyella found her passion in her young life… Dance!

All this girl wanted to dance, day and night. It was heart-warming to see her find a passion like this at a young age. That first year, she was much older and taller than the other girls in her classes because I didn’t know how she would like, let alone find a passionate talent in dance.

At the end of the year, her studio announced that they were forming their first ever Mini Elite Competition Team.  Even though Danyella had only been  dancing for a year and wasn’t at the class level required to audition, she was encouraged to audition anyway. Bad mom moment…. my thoughts on her auditioning were that she would learn the lesson that she needs to work hard to achieve things she wants in her life. Aka, she wouldn’t make the team and learn the lesson of losing and being denied something you desire.

2 months after auditioning, I received the email and was mind blown, shocked to read that she had made the team! What?????? She had only been dancing for a year…. A YEAR! Did she really have that innate ability to dance that she would make a competition dance team? How would these other dance moms act? Would we be living the show’s drama now?

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Our First Competition Mom and Me Selfie!

After 2 years of dancing under our belt and one year of competition team, I am so happy to talk to you about MY life as a dance mom! Both Danyella and I have made wonderful friends through her dance passion. When you spend every week, sitting in a room with the same moms you begin to have conversations. Most of those conversations began with a mom asking what I was crocheting or making because I can’t just sit and not have my hands moving. From that first conversation, we began to share stories of our kids and our lives. That is how friendships are formed and kept.

 

The Elite Moms had an extra special bond because we would live our lives based around dance every weekend from August through March. We would travel together to the competitions and bond over what it was like as a first year competition mom. We were all in this together. Eventually, we started connecting over Facebook and still chat about what is going on with our girls. We have been able to commiserate over our girls and their behaviors. It was great to know we weren’t alone with our tween girl problems.

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The shirt that I made for the Dance Moms for last year’s competition season.

As the girls bonded as a team, so did us moms. We have learned to rely on each other when we need help or have questions and never feel alone in this experience. This year, the team has changed because some people have left the tea

m, so girls moved up and new girls were added. Our girls embraced the new girls just as us moms embraced the new moms. Another new change was the addition of the Petite Elite Team, which consists of some younger girls and a new set of moms. The Minis and Petites bond and help each other just as us “experienced” (not really but we fake it) moms help the new moms navigated the uncharted waters of having a child on the competition team.

Last night, I was reminded of the bond that us dance moms have because as I was sitting for 3 hours of classes on the first week of the new season. Witheach class, brought in a new set of moms and we would all begin to catch up from either having the summer not seeing each other, having a year of our girls having opposite schedules or having a week since the last elite rehearsal. Each conversation just picked up like we never lost anytime.

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The first Elite Team at Competition last season.

 

It was an eye-opening experience to see all us in a room just talking like we have been friends forever. This is what a dance mom life truly is! It is not about drama, it is not about making sure our child is number one or gets special treatment, it is not aboutthrowing adult temper tantrums. It is about showing our children that they should pursue their passions. It is about showing our children that the friendships they make with their fellow dancers are ones that should be cherished. It is about showing our children that we should support one another no matter what and no matter our age.

 

Tips To Living Your Happy Mom Life

Tips to Living your happy life (1)

In my 36 years of living, one thing I tend to forget to do is living a happy life for myself. As a mom, I’m always taking the time for my kids to make sure they are fed, clothed and happy. As a girlfriend, I make sure that my boyfriend’s needs are met and he is happy. As a daughter, I make sure that my parents have the help they need to make their lives happier. Same goes for my friends. The big question is…. when do I take this time for myself to make sure I am happy?

The answer to that question…. when I can remember to take the time!

Here are some small tips to living your happy mom life each day…

  1. Enjoy your shower time! This is my favorite time of the day because I shut the dog, the kids and attempt with the boyfriend out of the bathroom, sit and let the water just run over me. When I was pregnant with Danyella and on strict bed rest, I was told that I could shower but I had to sit in the shower. I don’t use one of those old people shower chairs but I do use a cushy tub pillow. There are times that I can sit in the shower and let the water run over me like I was in the rain. I don’t get these times alot but I enjoy the moments when I get to relax in the shower, just me, myself and I!
  2. Enjoy your Potty Time! Oh yes I went there! The Mommy Potty Time is usually filled with kids and pets running in and out or shouting your name. Even for a 30 second pee, I let the kids and dog run amuck while I take the few seconds to hop on Pinterest. Just about since the start of Pinerest, I have been obsessed with this site/app. I have over 100 boards and thousands of pins all done in just a few seconds and minutes I have on the potty and other down times. Pinning makes my life feel more relaxed and I have found so many recipes, diy projects, kids projects and more to help my life.
  3. Get up Early or Stay up Later! I know that many mom bloggers talk about getting up a few minutes early to take Me Time but that is not me. I am a night owl and that will never change. I can be up until midnight, hours after the kids go to bed but ask me to get up even 15 minutes earlier and forget it because the snooze button will be hit! If you are a morning person then kudos to you! I like to take the time to do some stuff for me whether it is doing some reading, crocheting, journaling or other things that I want to do just for me.

They might just be a few, simple tips but these are things that help me enjoy a happier mommy life. I hope that these few tips can help you enjoy your happier mommy life!

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22 Weeks and Noobie Box Reveal

Noobie Box ReviewNow that I have gotten past the half way mark in my pregnancy, I feel like I want to countdown how many weeks and days are left until my due date. Having to keeep going up just feels like it is taking soooo much longer.Photo Sep 02, 9 25 20 AM

I am 22 weeks today but in my mind I have 18 weeks left! Wow only 18 weeks! As far away as that seems it is coming so fast which means getting ready for baby Evelynne. We are starting completely over with baby which means needing to buy everything that she needs. As she isn’t my first, I have an idea of what I want/need and what I don’t to start off with but wow so much has changed in the baby world in just 10 years since I had Danyella.

The latest craze is having boxes filled with baby stuff delivered to you for accomplishing things like creating a registry on Amazon or Target or just paying shipping to a baby box company. A mama in my baby mama group showed us a picture of a box that she recently received just for paying shipping. The company is called Noobie Box and they offer a FREE pregnancy box for just the cost of shipping ($6.95) but there is a downfall…. They only deliver to the Northeast (CT, DC, DE, MA, MD, ME, NH, NJ, NY, PA, RI and VT). Thankfully Jersey was on the list so I ordered away.Photo Sep 02, 9 49 06 AM

The box came pretty quickly compared to the Amazon free registry box. Inside the box…. discount cards for Carters and Stowaway Collection maternity clothes, advertisment postcards for babymoov (pregnancy pillow company), noobie milestone boxes for when baby is here (paid service that Noobie Box offers), Baby List registry, plus information brochures for cord blood and breastfeeding. Now comes the good stuff… sample of care/of prenatal vitamins, WaterWipes (I really want to try these!) and Lansinoh breastmilk storage bags and nursing pads. Plus a 4 ounce Mam bottle, Chat Cards Monthly Picture cards (might need to decorate them with some girly colors since they are just gray and a Carters (gender neutral) long sleeve outfit. Just the Carter’s outfit alone is worth the $6.95 that I basically paid for the box!

I am beginning to love these boxes but even better when the boxes are nearly free and filled with baby gear that I know I will use! The bottle was one that I wanted to try out because I learned in the past, not all babies and nipples are created equal so who knows what bottle she will take so buy a couple of each different ones and try them out.

If you live in one of the states they ship too and are pregnant or know someone who is pregnant this box is worth the shipping cost! Visit the their site to order yours today: Noobie Box 

*This review is an upaid review of my own opinions. The company did not compansate me in any way, shape or form.

Importance of Sticking to A Schedule when Homeschooling

The Benefits of Providing a Schedulefor yourkids (1)

When I woke up this morning, I really had no idea what I was going to write about today but I did know that I wanted to start a series on homeschooling since that is now our life. The good, the bad and the ugly of homeschooling since homeschooling has a stigma attached to it.

When I homeschooled Danyella before and would go out in public during the day, the looks and questions we would get were enough to make me snap… which at times I did because I refused to send my child to a shitty public school and not learn anything when I can provide her with a useful education at home.

Something that I learned when I homeschooled Danyella before was that she is the child that needs the structure of a schedule. If I let her take a million breaks or get up and walk away from something to many times, it became a game to her. One that she used to push-off her schoolwork as long as possible. Not this time!

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A comment on my Instagram post of Danyella and Max while she was doing her schoolwork and Max looked sad that his buddy wasn’t playing with him really bothered the hell out of me last night and this morning so that is where this post is coming from. The comment was kinda asking, kinda implying that Danyella should get lots of breaks in the beginning to start homeschooling…. ABSOLUTELY NOT!

When public school kids go back to school, do they get lots of breaks to start their year off? NO! Most come home with homework for both themselves and their parents. Just because she is being homeschooled doesn’t mean that we just fly by the seats of our pants. We have a daily schedule of what happens from 8am-5pm everyday. We have meals, chores, school and other activities scheduled throughout our day.

Yes, she does get some free time like kids get recess BUT it’s not multiple times through the day and it is not to play with the dog because he is lonely. Teaching my child structure and a schedule is important because as adult we live by structure in order to be successful (or at least the successful adults that I know do). As parents, if we do not structure our schedules and our children’s schedules then we have chaos and chaos leads to negativity which leads to unhappy, disconnected children.

Danyella is a dancer, a competitive dancer, and is taught a schedule and structure for each of her classes and her competitive team. Each teacher has a different style for their structure but the child thrives in class when there is structure.

Whether your child is a toddler/preschooler and you are teaching them at home or if they are older and you are homeschooling, a schedule is key to keep them on track and you sane. When a child wakes up, knows what they need to do for the day and at what times, life just runs smoother and happier for entire family.

Benefits:

  1. Schedules teach structure which is important to instill for adulthood
  2. Schedules keep the expectations of the child in focus
  3. Schedules help the child understand that School is serious not a game
  4. Schedules keep parents sane
  5. Schedules help families stay on track with their life goals
  6. Schedules make for happy children which make for happy parents

What are your thoughts on keeping your child on a schedule (whether you homeschool or they attend a school)?

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