Today, I turn 28 weeks and am officially in the Third Trimester but tomorrow is a somber day because it is October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It is somber because I am one those women that have lost a baby that I never got to meet. I am 1 in 4.
It is so hard to really wrap my head around the fact that I am a statistic but I have had miscarriages in my first trimester and one in my second trimester. That moment when you just know something is wrong and the doctor confirms, the baby is no longer viable (able to continue to grow), is the one of the worst moments a woman can go through no matter if it is your first miscarriage or 4th.
My body is the type that responds to pregnancy almost immediately so I feel those symptoms very early. So when I have lost those babies, it was like losing a piece of my heart, especially with the 2nd trimester loss. That one, I went through morning sickness and cravings. I went for my routine ultrasound but when the tech became very quiet and went to get the doctor, I knew it was over. There was no heartbeat. I fell into a depression after that miscarriage which took a long time to recover from.
In January, I went through my last miscarriage which was not any easier but we agreed to try for another one. We tried for a couple of months but stress and life made doing the deed to make a baby less and less frequent so when I realized I was pregnant again we were both shocked but so happy. I still analyze every time I go to the bathroom that something could be wrong but everything with the baby has been great. We are now in our third trimester!
It is my last week in my 2nd trimester and I finally beginning to understand why I have been feeling like well crap. For weeks, I have been told that my blood pressure was just way to low, and I needed to work on making it higher. For pregnant women, you usually hear a doctor be concerned about high blood pressure but there are the rare few that suffer from just the opposite, low blood pressure.
At the Maternal Fetal Medicine office, they have been checking my blood pressure every week when I get my shot. This is where the concern for the continued drop in blood pressure has been voiced the most. Their suggest was to drink a Gatorade everyday to help with my sodium and electrolyte intake which should help my blood pressure rise. The other day, I went to see my regular (delivering) OB and the nurse was concerned that my blood pressure was high. When I asked the numbers, she said it was 121/68 which was high compared to my previous visits. My response was that the Gatorade must be working!
I will admit, it has been extremely difficult for me to drink Gatorade, Powerade or any other ade with electrolytes because I don’t like the after taste and it gives me heartburn. I found a Gatorade called Flow Smooth in 2 different flavors and not only do I like the flavors but there hasn’t been any side effects either! WIN WIN
My OB explained that the low blood pressure was, more than likely, the cause of how uncomfortable and crappy I have been feeling every single day. Low blood pressure has accounted for my dizzy and light headed spells that I frequently have had, some days multiple times a day. I chalked up my shortness in breath to the baby pushing into my ribs and growing bigger but the lower blood pressure actually contributed to my breathing issues. Plus, I can tell it is low when I begin to see spots in my vision. Lastly, it was explained that some of my headaches and general weakness is more than likely from the low blood pressure.
Now that I have been drinking a Gatorade a day, I can definitely feel a difference. The spots and headaches are not as frequent. I still feel pretty weak and dizzy at moments but its been my cue to drink some Gatorade and then I start to feel better or I end up taking a nap. OH a nap sounds so good right now! Ok I am off to take a nap before I have to write a paper tonight.
Half way done with my pregnancy and I should be doing the “Happy Dance” but I physically cannot because the pain in my back makes it hard for me to even walk let alone dance. Add to that, I woke up this morning with my feet so swollen that it hurts to put any pressure on them. The list could go on….
I made the joke to my OB nurse/friend the other day when she asked me how I was doing: ” Eh, miserable like usual. I feel like I am experiencing every single negative pregnancy symptom with this baby”. Well, of course, since I put it out to the universe, the universe answered by giving me new symptoms to deal with and now I would be willing to deal with just the old symptoms like the heartburn, constipation and hemorrhoids. (Yes I know TMI but what do you think pregnancy and giving birth is… putting your whole body out there for people to touch, prod and poke so why hold back on what looks like just a cute baby bump everyone wants to touch.)
Now in my reality, my half way mark could have come and pass because of my history of preemies but I would like to keep Baby Evelynne inside her little incubator for at least another few months for her own good. I just wish these symptoms would let up just a little bit or at least have just one at a time. (lol the small things that you begin to appreciate)
In my baby group, another mom expressed the same thing of how she is just miserable in her pregnancy. No Glow, No Happy Moments just symptoms that make your survival through each day a challenge. For any other moms going through the symptoms of pregnancy, you are never alone! There is always other moms going through the same symptoms and feelings!
Something to look forward to is the big anatomy ultrasound on Wednesday (I know, I know we already know the sex but still getting to see how big she is compared to making sure my cervix is “nice and long will be a nice change). I know that I am supposed to count up with the weeks like next week will be 21 weeks, but I will be going the other way… next week is 19 weeks to go!