Half Way Done, So Why Am I Not Happier?

Half way done with my pregnancy and I should be doing the “Happy Dance” but I physically cannot because the pain in my back makes it hard for me to even walk let alone dance. Add to that, I woke up this morning with my feet so swollen that it hurts to put any pressure on them. The list could go on….

 

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I made the joke to my OB nurse/friend the other day when she asked me how I was doing: ” Eh, miserable like usual. I feel like I am experiencing every single negative pregnancy symptom with this baby”. Well, of course, since I put it out to the universe, the universe answered by giving me new symptoms to deal with and now I would be willing to deal with just the old symptoms like the heartburn, constipation and hemorrhoids. (Yes I know TMI but what do you think pregnancy and giving birth is… putting your whole body out there for people to touch, prod and poke so why hold back on what looks like just a cute baby bump everyone wants to touch.)

Now in my reality, my half way mark could have come and pass because of my history of preemies but I would like to keep Baby Evelynne inside her little incubator for at least another few months for her own good. I just wish these symptoms would let up just a little bit or at least have just one at a time. (lol the small things that you begin to appreciate)

In my baby group, another mom expressed the same thing of how she is just miserable in her pregnancy. No Glow, No Happy Moments just symptoms that make your survival through each day a challenge. For any other moms going through the symptoms of pregnancy, you are never alone! There is always other moms going through the same symptoms and feelings!

Something to look forward to is the big anatomy ultrasound on Wednesday (I know, I know we already know the sex but still getting to see how big she is compared to making sure my cervix is “nice and long will be a nice change). I know that I am supposed to count up with the weeks like next week will be 21 weeks, but I will be going the other way… next week is 19 weeks to go!

 

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Feed Me Friday

8fdc36a50f3d37fbbf9dd7e4aab10df8 Now that I am limited duty bed rest, I seem to have a lot of time on my hands which makes wanting to eat after 4 months of horrible morning sickness, something I want to do all day long. One of my weaknesses has been eating out because when I crave something, it has been a salad from this place, a smoothie from that place, fried chicken, hamburger, fries or anything else that I usually never make at home.

Ok, let me be honest here…. I never make much of anything at home. Even before my pregnancy, if I would make something at home I would be so tired so the smell or look that I wouldn’t want to eat it after that. So, most times I would eat out or get the prepared meals from Shoprite or Walmart so all I had to do was pop it in the oven or microwave for a few minutes and dinner was done. My mother was the cook that made meals from scratch, I was the one who would just eat them and then have a happy belly.

Well, I think I have begun my nesting stages since being out of work because I have been cleaning and cooking…. from scratch! Danyella’s obsession with cooking shows hasn’t helped the feeling like I NEED to cook from scratch. We watch every Master Chef episode whether it is adults or kids version (that is where she found her first crush Riley) so she is always wanting to try to cook but I am that scared mother of letting her do anything in the kitchen. She is 10 and now is allowed to use the microwave and toaster which even then I am lecturing her on being safe. (Don’t tell her I said that she is as clumsy as I am when she isn’t dancing lol)

The latest show we started binge watching is Worst Cooks in America from Food Network on Hulu. First, we were not to happy that we could only watch 3 of 9 seasons and that whole thing doesn’t make sense as to why streaming apps do this. Second, it is so funny to see some of the food these people make and actually eat. Third, as much as I don’t want to cook I definitely not a Worst Cook! This inspired me to make 3 of the 4 dishes I am going to feature today.

First dish was homemade mashed potatoes! Yes, most people give me that weird ass look like I have 3 heads because I am 36 and have never made mashed potatoes from scratch. In my defense, they tasted so good when someone else would make them or if I bought the Bob Evans or whatever brand of pre-made ones from Walmart. Off to Pinterest I went to get an easy recipe and here is the one I found: Restaurant-Style Garlic Mashed Potatoes which seemed pretty simple and easy. I used the potatoes that I got from the local farm stand (buy local and support your farmers people!) and followed the instructions. It was pretty damn easy! I paired it with ham steaks and peas and yummy!! My food critics (Danyella and Doug) were even impressed and one went back from seconds.

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With one dish down, I thought hey I could make for from scratch so let’s make a plan for another meal but then I got the request to make Peach upside-down Cake because the one finalist on Worst Cooks lost the whole competition because he screwed that dessert up. So I pulled out the peaches from the farm stand and found this recipe on Pinteret: Peach Upside-Down Cupcakes The recipe was pretty easy to follow and all but one cupcakes came out the pan without an issue. Danyella absolutely loved helping to make these cupcakes and was so happy to share them with her grandparents when she went to their house for a sleepover that night.

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Since Danyella was going to be away for the evening, I could make something that Doug and I would eat but she wouldn’t…. seafood! I had a bag of frozen shrimp in the freezer that I needed to find a recipe for and found this one: 10-Minute Honey Garlic Shrimp I will admit that I did alter this recipe a bit because with pregnancy induced heartburn there was no way I could do chili flakes without breathing flames afterwards. Plus instead of fresh garlic, I used Tastefully Simple’s Garlic Garlic blend. It was really good and someone else must have liked it because he finished it off! 3 successful dishes…. 1 more to go!

 

Last one to go came from just scrolling through Facebook and an ad was on my Newsfeed for mac and cheese…. the baked, homemade version. Well the picture looked amazing and I wanted it at 9 in the morning. I found this recipe on Pinterest: Baked Mac and Cheese So I had ran to the store to grab what I needed and later the day started to make it. The gooey-ness that made me so hungry before all of a sudden turned me off. Yes that good ole pregnancy nausea was back with a vengeance. I made it, ate it and then decided that when we ran to get dog food that Doug had to go to McDonalds for a Crispy Chicken Bacon Ranch salad. He was not happy about it but I didn’t care because I wanted my salad not the mac and cheese. He ate 2 dishes of the mac and cheese and loved it. The leftovers are in the fridge for him to eat before he goes to work overnights this week. So this one is a win/lose because he loved it but I did not but I blame the pregnacy nausua on that.

 

I haven’t made anything in a few days but I have plans for this weekend! Stay tuned to see what I make in next Friday’s Feed Me post!

Suprise Mommy Gift at My Door

I am not one who loves surprises (yes I used to find all the christmas presents before

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Christmas!) but receiving an email on my birthday that I was gifted the Bump Box! Say what?? In my baby moms group, other moms have talked about receiving the Bump Box as a gift or purchasing the Bump Box to pamper themselves during their pregnancy. The idea of the Bump Box was awesome but out of our budget especially now that I am on bed rest but now I get to be part the of the Bump Box club!

So what is the Bump Box? It is a monthly subscription that someone pays $39.99 a month to send themselves or a pregnant loved one a box of treats for a mommy to be. According to their website, they tailor each monthly box according to your due date so the pregnant woman receives items that will help them through whatever trimester they are currently in. Since I am 19 weeks today, I am in my second trimester and would receive 4-8 full size products to enjoy for the month of August. Another perk with Bump Boxes, is that with every purchase of the box (even if it’s a gift) plus a product review earns you points to discount when you purchase a reorder of a product from a box!

What did I receive for August??  I swear it is like the company knew

Photo Aug 11, 1 36 02 PMexactly what I have been going through lately because I received a pack of argon oil face clothes (this will hopefully help with the horrible acne on my face), a bottle of pregnancy safe probiotic (to hopefully help with my IBS that has been attacking at least once a week), bath salts (this is controversal to me because I have been told that bath salts, oils and bubble bath were a no no during pregnancy), and a bottle of belly oil to help with stretch marks ( I am on the fence of whether I will be trying this or not since I have been making my own body products for so long that I prefer my own stuff to everything else). Lastly, I received an adorable picture frame to put one of Evelynne’s ultrasound pictures in. The frame is so adorable and says Love At First Sight.

Overall, the box is super adorable and I look forward to receiving my next one in September. To the person that gave me the special gift…. Thank you!

**If you would like to purchase a Bump Box for yourself or a loved one flow this link: BumpBoxes

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Next 5 Months of Boredom or Discovery

 

Well it is official folks… I am on bed rest or at least out of work for the rest of my pregnancy. I had a feeling it was coming because as soon as I am on my feet my body decides that it is going to start acting up. You know the cramps and Braxton Hicks

Photo Aug 09, 9 05 02 PMcontractions that are not supposed to happen until the 3rd trimester! In order to help relieve the pain and my anxiety, my OB thinks staying off my feet as much is in mine and the baby’s best interest and I have to agree.

Now what in the hell am I going to do for the next 4-5 months? Since I had a feeling this was coming, I started to make my plan over the weekend to apply for financial aid and college. I still have a semester to finish of my theatre associates degree from the community college I attend when Danyella was in preschool so I do have some credits that will transfer over… hopefully! Since the new community college does not offer a theatre degree, I opted for a fine arts degree which between the fall and spring I should be able to finish up to transfer to a “big person’s college or university”. Yes, to me attending a 4 year school is like finally growing into an adult because you need at least a bachelors in order to a decent job now.

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I am going to be the old, pregnant mom in my classes which makes me feel soooo self conscious because I hate that I have gotten this old and haven’t finished school. On the bright side, having school and homework will keep me super busy since I will not have to work to occupy my time. I love anything to do with art so getting my associates in Fine Arts will allow me to transfer to a 4 year college to get my bachelors in Art History which I would love to take to the next level and get my Masters as well. The art classes will do me a double good because I will be working towards my degree plus releasing my stresses through my art.

Another project that I am going to try and undertake while on bed rest, is to actually start making all these patterns that I have collected over the past 10 years. So I will be going through all my patterns and making one of each to either give as a gift, keep for my family or list on my website. Some of my most popular items came from patterns that I wouldn’t have normally tried because it was either a request or went with yarn that I fell in love with and needed a fitting pattern.

Let’s hope that the next 4-5 months brings alot of self discovery and adventure instead of sleep and boredom. When I am bored it is never good for myself and really not good for the loved ones that are around me because I get very demanding and bitchy. For their sake, keeping busy is the best thing….

18 Weeks

Photo Aug 05, 2 33 43 PM We have made it to 18 weeks! Each week is a new accomplishment in my life after suffering miscarriages. No huge changes this week besides my increased hormones making me want to cry all the time. I don’t think I have ever been so damn sensitive in my life!

According to the apps, Evelynne is the size of a Sweet Potato, a croissant, a sling shot and a sugar glider (the picture looks like a brown squirrel). I am definitely getting bigger by the day which means I have had to buy new clothes. On a bright note, the size Large jeans that I got are actually to big on me!!

With fair week and my birthday, it was hard to stay on complete bed rest but I made sure to sit as much as possible when I was out. I am feeling a major difference in my body when I rest compared to when I am active and it is not good. Another thing that went out the window this week was eating healthy…. I craved fried foods (2am NEED for pulled pork and pickles!) and pie. One odd thing that I have craved is more vegetables including salads. I was good at my birthday lunch and got the salad bar as one of my sides because I want dark lettuce, croutons and beets. Yes these combos are weird!

Update on the insurance sage…. I was able to obtain new health insurance for a hefty rate! Now for the bad news…. both my OB and high risk doctors are covered BUT the hospital is not! FML! Well things will change once we move across the river to PA but now I feel like we are in a time crunch to get a place and it might not be a place that is the right fit for us for a whole year. Which can I just say that I am beginning to LOATHE the office girl at my OB’s office! She has become such a bitch with all of this insurance stuff and if I didn’t LOVE my OB I would switch doctors asap.

Next week will come with a lengthy update because I see both doctors on Wednesday and will find out if I am on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy.

17 Weeks

0c51b4d6e768a4b380e500cf7242117d Today marks 17 weeks into my pregnancy! I am almost to the half way mark which has been roller coaster of symptoms and hormones so far. Now I am on bed rest for at least the next 2 weeks though I have a feeling it is going to end up being a lot longer.

Everyone talks about the pregnancy glow and how the 2nd trimester is the best trimester of the pregnancy but I beg to differ right now. At 17 weeks, I am still dealing with morning sickness though it has gotten much better and I can hold down most food. Instead of the beautiful glow, I have a face that is breaking out in acne which I have not dealt with before even with the other pregnancies.

My cravings have been not so great…. anything made from potatoes plus candy plus anything that someone might say that makes me hungry in that instant moment. Like today, a friend of mine in a conversation about her dad mentioned Arby’s, and I wanted a Roast Beef and Cheese sandwich asap! To bad there isn’t an Arby’s in my area. This week is our county fair which is food heaven to me. So for dinner my parents, daughter and I are going to eat dinner at the fair so bring on the pierogies!

Then we come to my hormones…. oh they have been off the charts! I have teetered between rage and anger to crying at everything! My poor boyfriend has been at the receiving end of my yelling and most of my crying so he has been a trooper with coping with me. Christmas romantic movies have been my downfall lately. It is like my body just wants me to cry and cry and cry a little more!

On a bright note, I have survived 3 days on bed rest so far and have started a baby blanket for Baby Evelynne. I do have a little more energy which has been nice to clean more of the house as we prepare to start packing soon. I am taking this bed rest just like the rest of life, one day at a time.

Photo Jul 26, 10 52 02 AM Here is Baby Evelynne at our appointment last wednesday. She is facing and kicking my back. According to my apps, she is as big as a white onion, a turnip, a pomegranate, Creme Brulee, Game Controller or a chipmunk! She is growing so fast and I cannot wait to meet our baby girl in 5 months!

A Little Positivity during the Hard Times

610a73b1c546e16019980715e766eb4fBoy have I screamed…. at everyone and cried…. at everything and everywhere this week! For one good thing that has happened, it felt like 5 bad things followed in its footsteps. It has been so difficult to keep going but as a pregnant mother,  I just kept putting one foot in front of the other and keep waking up everyday.

So some updates on the hard times and the positive things that have happened…

Doctors appointments galore resulted in finding out that I have placenta previa and I am on bed rest for the next 2 weeks. First I went to the maternal fetal medicine doctor (aka high risk doc) for my bi weekly ultrasound and weekly shot. I was having horrible back pain and some cramping going into the appointment which the ultasound showed the placenta previa (I was not told this at the appointment) and they consulted with another doctor in the practice. She came in and told me that I am probaly just dehydrated without even listening to my concerns. I left very, very upset but kept my hormonal mouth in check. A few hours later I went to see my regular OB, which was the first time I had met him. He was absolutely wonderful at making sure I felt comfortable and listened to my concerns. It was my OB that told me about the placenta previa and that I need to take it easy. Well working on my feet for hours at a time makes “taking it easy” extremely hard plus add the pain I was having and we agreed bed rest for 2 weeks and then back in for a check up. I left feeling so much better about my pregnancy and my baby were in good hands.

With doctors and appointments come the dreaded insurance. Well we are still fighting with all of that. I will get to the bad then explain the good that has happened. So the company that produces the progesterone shot that I need weekly was kind enough of to send out a charity set so I could get my shots when I needed. Plus the MFM office is willing to work with me to self pay until I get the insurance straightened out. Well….. the OB’s office is not even willing to see me now until I have the insurance situated and will not let me self pay either. When I originally showed up to the OB on Wednesday, the receptionist wouldn’t even let me be seen that day. One of the other office people saw the pain I was in and told her I needed to be seen today (there are some kind people left in the world). Well the receptionist called my insurance company then called me to inform that they will not see me until I have documentation that states my insurance is active again. Then she goes on to tell me that there is some kind of charity program I can apply for with my insurance company and to call them to apply so they can see me again.

You would think that seeing a pregnant woman, especially a high risk pregnant woman with complications, would be a requirement not an option! This is what is wrong with the United States Health Care System! They make is difficult to get health insurance, pay for health insurance or be seen by doctors because it is all about the money. It scares me to raise children in a society where you have to break your back to be able to afford simple things like housing, food and health care and you see nothing in return but struggle.

So there goes another day of crying and fighting with insurance companies. So I go another round with the insurance company and come out the big fat loser! They tell me that there is no such program and that my insurance is terminated and cannot be reinstated because I purchased it through the marketplace. I feel completely defeated because they repeat over and over and over how I need to have a life change to get new insurance… well the life changes they list can’t happen or don’t apply to me EXCEPT if I move out of state (see later in the blog). So I go back to the marketplace….

Come to find out Amerihealth never even told the Marketplace that they terminated my insurance so I went through and applied for a life change due to my change of income which has significantly dropped since I originally started my insurance. I was approved for the life change and given the option to start a new policy. This time I went with a new company that my OB still accepts so I don’t have to worry about that. My next hurdle is getting Horizon to get my policy started so that I can pay my premium before Tuesday so that my insurance will start on August 1st.

Onto the moving/house situation…. The house is set for online auction starting tomorrow and we have decided that we want to move to Pennsylvania where things are a little cheaper. Rental hunting is hard enough but now we need to add a pet to the our list of things the rental needs to have/accept makes it a little harder. I am hoping and praying that we can find something in the next couple of weeks so that we can get Danyella back into public school and take one expense off our monthly list so we will see….

Yes there has been hard times, crying, fighting (especially between bf and I) but there has been positive outcomes as well. It is those positive moments that keep us going from day to day and sometimes hour to hour.