Finding Ways to be Thankful

stay positive (2)

Today is #thankfulthursday and I am not going to lie, I have had a hard time coming up with one thing that I am thankful for. Part of this is because some of the things make me feel materialistic and other things feel like given things in life.

Yes, everyone is thankful for the basics in life like food, water, shelter and clothing. Thing is, there was a time in my life where I was living in my car and lived in a homeless shelter. There is a time where I was trying to come up with change just to find money for food. If you look in my drawers, most of my clothes are from 10 or more years ago, from thrift stores or cheap clothing from Walmart. At least I have clothing to wear right now.

Lately, things feel like they have been going in opposite direction that I want which can be so frustrating and makes it hard to find the things to thank the universe or your Higher Power for. Sometimes, you need to step back and remember the basics in life and that the rest is just an added bonus.

My housing situation isn’t ideal right now but at least we have a place to live that allows us to keep our special puppy. We need to move and finding a place that will fit our family and puppy has been the most difficult thing in the world. I wish we had the money to buy the house we are living in or another house but it is a very difficult option right now. All we can do is to continue to look and the right place will find us.

Holding to a meal budget has been such a difficult thing for my entire adult life. I will make a list, purchase what is on the list (online grocery shopping has made this so much easier), stand at the fridge or cabinet and struggle to find something to make or eat. So then I blow the budge out of the water because I end up getting takeout somewhere. I need to learn how to stick to a meal plan, meal budget and learn to be creative with the food I buy because there was a time when I didn’t get a choice of what I ate. I need to be thankful for any and all food and not be so damn picky.

I went from having a job that I could afford to buy my first Coach purse and Jimmy Choo shoes. High end clothing, handbags and shoes was my life over 15 years ago but that all changed in an instant. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to be able to afford those luxury items again but they don’t make my world go round now. I have always been one to shop at consignment and thrift stores which I have found some amazing deals.

I have 2 specific claim to fame for my finds… My first amazing find was a vintage knee-length wool coat that zipped up the left side and had a corset-type ribbon back. My words can’t even describe who gorgeous this coat looked but someone stopped me on the streets of SOHO New York and offered to buy the coat off my back for a client of his (he was a personal stylist). As tempting as the offer was, I cherished that coat and declined. Unfortunately, when I became homeless I lost the coat. My second claim to fame was finding a BRAND NEW WITH TAGS Baby Dior outfit at a Salvation Army store for Danyella. Now when I found this outfit, it was before I even knew she was a girl but I couldn’t resist not buying this amazing outfit and thankfully she was a girl!

Since the only decent, affordable consignment shops (yes there are ones that are way overpriced for used clothing!) are a bit of a drive for me, my options have been limited especially since getting pregnant. I know that there is online shopping but I still prefer to go to a store and try clothes on so I know that they fit right. My go to is either Target or Walmart which sometimes you can feel the (lack of) quality that you are buying with cheap clothing. One good deal I have found at Walmart has been these super-soft, stretchy shirts for $5 for a short sleeve shirt. They had them in basic navy, black, maroon and olive-green colors which I bought XL in each size because they are large enough to cover my growing belly. I was super, super excited to find them in long sleeve (only $6.88) in some Halloween prints and other solid colors which I bought in 1XL and 2XL to keep me going while my belly grows. I wish I could afford the adorable pregnancy clothing on the market but it really isn’t an option when you are out of work for most of your pregnancy so I am sticking to these comfortable, affordable shirts and leggings.

Sometimes we take the basic things in our life for granted when we need to step back and be thankful for these necessities because life could be worse one day or you could have worked your way up from a situation that is worse than it is right now.

thankful

Advertisements

27 Weeks and Low Blood Pressure

27 Weeks

It is my last week in my 2nd trimester and I finally beginning to understand why I have been feeling like well crap. For weeks, I have been told that my blood pressure was just way to low, and I needed to work on making it higher. For pregnant women, you usually hear a doctor be concerned about high blood pressure but there are the rare few that suffer from just the opposite, low blood pressure.

At the Maternal Fetal Medicine office, they have been checking my blood pressure every week when I get my shot. This is where the concern for the continued drop in blood pressure has been voiced the most. Their suggest was to drink a Gatorade everyday to help with my sodium and electrolyte intake which should help my blood pressure rise. The other day, I went to see my regular (delivering) OB and the nurse was concerned that my blood pressure was high. When I asked the numbers, she said it was 121/68 which was high compared to my previous visits. My response was that the Gatorade must be working!

I will admit, it has been extremely difficult for me to drink Gatorade, Powerade or any other ade with electrolytes because I don’t like the after taste and it gives me heartburn. I found a Gatorade called Flow Smooth in 2 different flavors and not only do I like the flavors but there hasn’t been any side effects either! WIN WIN

My OB explained that the low blood pressure was, more than likely, the cause of how uncomfortable and crappy I have been feeling every single day. Low blood pressure has accounted for my dizzy and light headed spells that I frequently have had, some days multiple times a day. I chalked up my shortness in breath to the baby pushing into my ribs and growing bigger but the lower blood pressure actually contributed to my breathing issues. Plus, I can tell it is low when I begin to see spots in my vision. Lastly, it was explained that some of my headaches and general weakness is more than likely from the low blood pressure.

Now that I have been drinking a Gatorade a day, I can definitely feel a difference. The spots and headaches are not as frequent. I still feel pretty weak and dizzy at moments but its been my cue to drink some Gatorade and then I start to feel better or I end up taking a nap. OH a nap sounds so good right now! Ok I am off to take a nap before I have to write a paper tonight.

nap

Thankful for my OB Nurse #thankfulthursday

stay positive

Wednesdays are my baby doctor appointment days which since July my rear end has been seen by my high risk OB nurse every week. Why you ask am I showing my OB nurse my rear end every week?

Well since I have had 2 preemie babies, my doctors wanted me on weekly progesterone shots that are administered by Maternal Fetal Medicine office. So every Wednesday, I walk into the office, Nurse Charlie gets my shot ready and then I expose my back end. It can be quite embarassing the bigger that I get and the bigger my pants and panties get.

I am sure that Nurse Charlie sees many rear ends every week and it is just another day to her but as a self conscious pregnant woman it is a HUGE (not just my rear end) deal to me. The plan is that I continue my weekly shots until I am 38 weeks (if I make it that long) so I will be exposing myself weekly to Nurse Charlie for another 12 weeks. Oh boy!

Something that I have learned in my pregnancies, is that it is really the nurses that make sure that us hormonal, pregnant are doing what we need to do for our babies and are really good while we grow a human inside of us. When I switched my insurances, my copay for the progesterone shots were over $1000 a month which just wasn’t going to happen now that we are on one full time income. When I brought this up to Nurse Charlie, she is the one that has bent over backwards to make sure that I got the shots that I needed and at a price that I could afford. She is the one that has checked on me at home when I have gone in with bad side effects of the pregnancy like low blood pressure that has been making me light headed and have fainting spells.

I truly can’t thank Nurse Charlie enough for going above and beyond for myself and my baby girl while she is still growing inside my big ole belly. If you are pregnant, make sure you thank your OB nurse because they truly care about their patients, the big ones and little ones.

01623cc6779b80874dbfe3775c0d16a7

Emotional Burnout #MotivationMonday

boomnetting

It has been a week since I have been able to get a blog post out of me. If you look at my drafts, I started multiple posts but just couldn’t finish them. Yes time was a factor but if I am being truthful, my heart just wasn’t in it to write this past week. Being pregnant, I know that I am more emotional than usual but I would just sit and start crying multiple times throughout the day because this past weekend was my little brother’s 9th anniversary of his death and I was becoming emotionally burned out.

The week leading up to his anniversary is always an emotional one but we keep busy by planning his annual balloon release memorial service and cook out. Add the stress of the pregnancy hormones and the pregnancy itself… my stress level felt like it skyrocketed. Now add that my psych paper this week was on Addiction and basically I just mentally shut down.

More than once my boyfriend found me crying and when he would ask why, all I could muster up was that it was all too much this week and I couldn’t take it. In one week, I dealt with my brother’s death anniversary, my pregnancy complications (had a few close call fainting spells) and one of the Mama’s in my group had to have her twin boys early because of complications (I sat on the couch and cried for hours for those boys who are now in the NICU and getting stronger everyday). I just hit my end and crashed but it felt like every time I did something, I crashed all over again.

Last night was the first night I was able to get to bed and sleep before midnight which was a nice thing for me. I was living off of little sleep and an occasional nap. My poor boyfriend had his head bitten off more than once in an hour for the past week (sorry babe). I had the Mom Emotional Burn Out but this week it is time for recovery and get myself back on track.

Every mom has their emotional burn out moments trust me! Some are definitely not as extreme as mine but we all have them. The key is to let yourself feel your emotions, embrace the discomfort while it lasts and when you are ready, pick yourself up and love yourself again. Motivation Monday!

**On a little side note, my boyfriend has made it without to many scars through this pregnancy and other times so I have to say Happy Anniversary! I love you and everything you do for our family.

02c0f9509875ed818c0377787394a094

Mommy is a College Student #thankfulthursday

Mommy College Student

Today was my first official day of classes that I attend at the actual college (my online classes started already)! It was scary as hell to pull into that parking lot surround my kids that were closer in age to my oldest child then to me. I swear you could feel my heart pounding out of my chest as I looked for a place to park (note to self show up earlier so I can park closer and not in the outskirts of town). Why am I so damn nervous?

The reason I am so nervous is because I was living in fear of being judged by all of these millennial that will shape the future of our lives with new technology, politics and so much more. Here I am… the old, pregnant woman taking classes among all of these young kids who are concerned about their Snaps and the latest party. How can I keep up with them?

My first class today was Speech which is something that comes pretty easily for me because of my background in theatre plus making speeches for the Homeless Shelter that I have been associated with for a few years now. I walked into class a few minutes late because with my belly I can only walk so fast from the other side of the parking lot and then up to the second floor to class. Already red in the face….

I take a seat in the front of the class because that was a close seat to the door and the other people at the table looked a little older than 18 and out of diapers. The professor keeps going and I start to feel more at ease until I look around the classroom and see all the young kids. Wow I begin to feel so so so old! There are a few of us older people though I think I am the oldest out of 24 and definitely the only pregnant one.

The first video we watch is about how we need to have self-confidence in ourselves and about our character. It was a wonderful video and one that I needed right in that moment. I needed to get past my fear of these kids in my classes because I would be spending 3 hours a week for the next 14 weeks with them plus I was going to have to get up in front of the class and talk to them.

I am thankful for being able to take this opportunity to get past my fear of these millennial and take courses that will help me not just in my career but in my everyday life. When I am at work or on stage, I don’t think twice about what I need to do or say but getting up in front of these kids gives me massive anxiety but I am thankful that I will work on getting past my fear this semester. I might be old and I might be pregnant but I want to further my education and life which is worth every single moment of fear and anxiety.

college

I may earn a small commission for my endorsement, recommendation, testimonial, andor link to any products or services from this website. Your purchase helps support my work in bringin