Benny the Bunny

Photo Aug 01, 8 10 52 PM

How in the hell can we adopt a bunny when we have to move? How can we adopt a bunny with a crazy puppy that loves to scare every animal that comes into yard? How can we adopt a bunny when I may end up on bed rest for the next 4-5 months? How are we going to convince a landlord to take us plus our crazy puppy plus a new baby bunny?

It is fair week so I knew that Danyella was going to become Bunny obsessed since we never held up our end of the deal… buying her a new bunny after Hannah the Havana died. Well she worked every angle she could from pouting to getting angry to begging. She tried it all and it worked.

Maybe it is the hormones that made me go soft with this decision but I did feel bad because instead of buying her a new bunny we adopted Max the crazy puppy. Don’t get me wrong, she loves Max but to her we all share Max but a bunny would be all hers like Hanna

h was all hers. I understood that somehow the non animal lover has raised a true animal lover but the timing is all wrong right now.

We need to move and find a landlord that will take us and our puppy which is hard enough but now we have to add a baby bunny to the list. Plus this just adds to yet another thing we need to move. Oh how do I end up agreeing to this craziness? I end up agreeing because I want to make her feel like she is important while I am having to take the time to take care of myself and the baby which cuts into things Danyella and I had planned for the summer. Good ole guilt trip….

Danyella had everyone riding this guilt trip until we agreed to adopt Benny the Bunny. Yes she loves to name her animals to rhyme… Benny the Bunny and Hannah the Havana (type of bunny she was) plus it was hard to find somet

hing to go with Lop (the type of bunny Benny is). I do have to say, her love for animals have made me a little softer in my years with animals and their dreaded fur!

I am sure there will be future posts and pictures about the newest member of our family so stay tuned!

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Grief turns to Anger

It’s been longer then I anticipated since I last blogged and here is why….

After my post about my miscarriage I went through the stages of grief. I cried my eyes out for a couple of days but went about my life. I went to work and cried in the bathroom. I dropped my daughter off at school and picked her up but while I driving in the car alone, I cried. I couldn’t stop crying and my poor boyfriend really didn’t know how to handle it. 

Once my crying slowed down, I am still going through bouts of crying, I got angry and nasty. Some days it’s gone from anger to rage over this loss that I didn’t know how to deal with at all. I was angry at everyone and anyone that entered my life. Working in the restaurant industry isn’t good for anyone prone to be angry, let alone a woman still dealing with her hormones being wacky and grieving the loss of her unborn child. 

Every child at one of my tables made me want to cry and there have been moments in the bathroom where I have shed a tear or two. Now it seems like I see baby commercials and adorable baby products everywhere I turn. All of this has set off a rage in me that I have never felt before this grief set in.

I have bit off the heads of the people I love over reasons I can’t remember. I have started fights with people of nonsense. I have just have been miserable in everything I say and do. Just my mannerisms have radiated negativity. 

To make matters worse, I work with someone who is known to be negative and miserable and this weekend my anger came to a head to popped. It felt this rage burst inside of me that I just couldn’t control or stop and it was a scary couple of days. I attempted to quit my job because I needed to get my head on straight and stay away from negativity. Thankfully my boss and I talked things out before I upped and quit my job but this anger needs to controlled.

Since this all happened, I adjusted my work schedule to work around happy, positive coworkers, joined the gym with my boyfriend and started listening to a new audio book. Small steps to big changes.