Thankful for my Professor #thankfulthursday

The past couple of weeks I have struggled with my Thankful Thursday posts because what I am thankful for didn’t seem genuine. Yes there are material items and lots of people that I thabkful for but how do I write about these things without feeling either materialistic or generic? I was struggling big time.

I went into my speech class one day last week, which I enjoy because my professor always makes class interesting. He started the class out by talking about having passion in life and passion in what you do. I will admit that I lost some of my passion for art lately which turned into frustration and procrastination to get my projects done or even attend my studio classes. This lesson that my speech professor was giving on passion was the wake up call I needed to make a change in my college major and career.

I love art and love being an artist which means it should never be something I dread and I needed to get back to myself. I love my handmade business and have wanted to learn how to really work my business because that is my passion. So, I sat down with my professor who is the academic advisor for the business department and discussed the change I wanted to make.

After reviewing my transcripts and classes, we made a game plan to change my major to business and focus on learning the ins and outs of business. This will allow my to enjoy my art on my time and in my way. I love my art but losing my passion for it is something that’s just not acceptable to me. It has made me wonder if artists shouldn’t be art professor because pushing their own style and agenda isn’t cultivating a budding artist but instead hindering them to reach their full potential.

I am thankful for my professor that woke me up to the fact that my passion is exactly that… my passion and not someone else’s so be happy with my decisions or change them. Life lessons are taught at any age including a 35 year old adult student!

What are you thankful for today?

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My Secret to Motivation

My Secret To Motivation

As someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, finding the joy in everyday living has been a struggle or better wording has taken A LOT of work from me mentally, physically and spiritually. There have been days that I don’t work on my self-care and those days have been the ones that make me realize that I need to work twice as hard the next day.

About 8 years ago, I found myself in the biggest depression of my life. I was a single mom struggling to make ends meet. We had to have a funeral for my brother who had just lost this battle to drugs. I was in a toxic relationship with an alcoholic that I felt I needed to save from himself.  I had to hold it together because that is what I do.

I don’t know how I came across the books by Louise Hay but they changed my life. Reading her books, made me realize that I held my own power over my life not my circumstances or other people. I was the one who had to take a stand with myself, for myself.

After reading 2 of her books, I was focused and working on myself everyday for about a year. Slowly, I got away from the positive habits I had worked so hard to achieve and the old, bad habits started creeping up.

About 2 years ago, I was flipping through suggestions on Netflix and The Secret came across on my list. I had no idea what the movie was about but it looked intriguing so I watched it. Wow!! The things that the people in the video said spoke to me in ways that I didn’t even know I could be reached mentally and spiritually. I looked into the book and found it on Audible.com which is my latest way to “read” books when I don’t have the time to sit and read.

I began to listen to the words over and over again. Some of the chapters I have repeated after listening to them once then over again because there is a message in there that I need to stick in my mind and soul. I was so grateful for these words.

Nearly everyday, I start my day by listening to the audio version of The Secret because I am at a point in my life that when I am stressed out I need the reminder to be set back on track. Listening to the wonderful things they have to say, the affirmations that adapt for my life and the success stories keep me motivated to keep working on myself. If I don’t work on myself then no one else will work on me and I will end up back in the deep slump I was in before and I don’t want that at all.

The great thing about having The Secret on audio book is that I can listen while I am making breakfast, taking a walk, doing laundry… just about anything and anywhere (as long as I remember my earbuds and new adapter)! Listening to other people acheive their sucesses through self care keeps me motivated to keep on going. To take the time everyday to work on myself and love myself.

My motivation for all of you on this Solar Eclipse Monday is to watch, listen or read The Secret and take the time to work on yourself even if its 5 minutes everyday…. You are worth it!

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Vision Board Challenge

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Recently, I joined a Mom Boss Bloggers Facebook Group because I want to expand my horizons and see what other mommy bloggers are posting about in their lives. I know that I haven’t been posting about my business lately but this will be changing this week because I need to get back to expanding my business. Anywho…

Another blogger is looking to feature vision boards on her blog and was looking for volunteers. I have had a vision board for the past 8 years after reading Louise Hay’s inspirational books where she tells her readers to make a board of what you want to see in your life so that the world knows what to bring to your life. I strongly believe in vision boards and how powerful they can be if you continued to grow your visions and your boards.

To me, my vision boards are a continuous work in progress because when one goal on my board is accomplished then it is time to find a new goal. Sometimes my board has been full of pictures, words, quotes and goals I have written onto the board. Since I was a teen, I have collected old magazines my grandmother would get rid of because I wanted to keep the recipes or crafts I wanted to try. Since starting my first vision board, I have been able to go through those magazines to help create my boards. Each day, I take one magazine cut out things for my board and other things that I want to keep.

My current board has been reworked over the past 2 years and some of those goals have been accomplished but some have not because I got away from my self-care and vision board. The blogger I will be working with on my new vision board requested a board having to do with positivity and how to stay positive. So this board will contain a lot of quotes, positive words and images.

This is something new because I will not be including specific goals that I want to achieve (that will be kept to my other board) but keeping to the positivity and self-care theme. I believe that things happen for a reason and that this new challenge for a vision board has come at a time where I have started my self care journey over. I cannot wait to share my new board when it is finished!

 

Say Nice Things to Yourself

Remember when your mother taught you “if you don’t have something nice to say then don’t say anything at all”? As an adult, I have realized that we say the meanest of things to ourselves. The person we should lova1c8455afb3d5542cff03d053c9e788ae the most in the world, we berate, ridicule, and mentally/verbally abuse the most… Ourselves!

I learned that I did this to myself about 9 years ago when I started reading Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life” where she blatently tells her readers that they are abusing themselves with the things we say and think about ourselves. I truly had a hate/hate relationship with myself for most of my life and it was affecting what good and bad things happen in my life. If I couldn’t love myself and praise myself then how could someone else love me? How could the universe provide for me when I couldn’t provide one positive thought for myself? It didn’t and I was suffering more then I ever thought I would in my life.

How could I recover from the years of abuse that I gave myself? I started by reciting affirmations to myself. For those of you who do not know what affirmations are, they are encouraging words that you say to yours
elf over and over, everyday! I started off with “I am loving and loveable” and worked my life around things that I wanted to happen in my life. Over the years, things would happen and I would get away from my affirmations…. then something bad would happen and I would snap back into the reality of how powerful these affirmations are to my well being.

That has recently happened to me, life got ahead of me and I became laxed in my affirmations. As a result, my life became overwhelming, disoriented and began a downward spiral. I found myself yelling at myself for the lack of money coming in, being lazy, being fat and being ugly. That is not how I would let someone else treat me so why was I treating myself like this?

It is easy to fall back into bad habits but it is rewarding to push past those bad habits and start now traditions…. even if it means starting them over again! So the past week, I got a binder out of the school supply cabinet, filled it with lined paper and began writing out affirmations to help me out of my current financial crisis. Everyday, I write out an affirmation that positively affirms that money flows into my life to pay my bills and provide what my family needs. Mind you, affirmations coexist with hard work. The money, love etc that you seek will not just fall into your lap. You still need to map out a plan on how you can get to your goals.

As a server (waitress), my money is reliant on what tips that I make so those affirmations help to bring me higher tips to provide for my family. I saw this happen this past week where I was able to stay later then originally expected and make more money then I had for a goal for the day. If you believe then it will happen, just keep telling yourself those positive affirmations every single day and if you have a negative thought then follow it up with 10 positive thoughts!!

Here is my current list of financial affirmations that I am working with:

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Procastination At Its Finest

procastinationLet’s start the day off with a little laugh at my life as a procastinator because this cartoon is me to a T. I put off until I absolutely have to get something done which is a bad, bad way to live your life especially when you are attempting to change your life but nonetheless my old buddy procastination loves to make his way into my life, on a daily basis.

It has been weeks since I have blogged, not that I haven’t thought about blogging and what I want to blog about but because I kept saying later and then later turned into tomorrow and tomorrow turned into a bunch of tomorrows that turned into a couple of weeks worth of putting of blogging. Of course there was always an excuse for why I sat next to my laptop but didn’t open it just once to blog…. I have to get ready for work, I need work on this crochet project, I need to sleep, I need to eat first or I need coffee first (ok that is a must!). Now none of these is really a legit excuse as to why I couldn’t open the laptop that sits right next to my chair, take 15-20 minutes to type out a blog.

My mother always said “excuses are like assholes, everyone has one” so it is time I put the excuses away and start taking action. Do you see the billionaires in our society procastinating on ways to make themselves more money? Nope every year or every quarter they come up with a new, “It” product to sell us and we fall sucker to purchasing those products. Do you see the bill companies procastinating to send out bills or cut you off? Oh hell no! They have those bills out with deadlines and if WE procastinate then we are shut down or shut off.

So its time to take a tip from the people making the money in this world and stop procastinating and start doing. In the 15 minutes it has taken for me for to write this blog, I feel like I have accomplished more then in the 3 weeks that I procastinated blogging just to work, sleep, eat or create!

 

 

Healthy Mind Challenge

I thought that the hardest part was getting myself to actually eat healthy but that is not true at all! The harde0e53047c767c12f4efdbbe47e27e052dst part has been to get my mind inline with my body and my desire for a healthy body. I am not going to lie… I fell off the healthy eating wagon more then once this past week.
After I took the last bite of a devil dog or ice cream or pasta, I felt the twinges of remorse and wanting to throw up for what I had just done.

I never really had decided to do a lifestyle change liks this before so mentally I was not prepared. Honestly, I thought I could wing it as I go…. WRONG!!! WRONG WRONG WRONG! You have to plan out your meals and set up a time everyday to exercise or you will fail miserably or at least in the beginning.

I learned after this first week that just winging it was not the right mindset at all because you need that structure to retrain your brain to live and breathe healthy in your life. After a set back, all you can do is pick yourself up,  try again and learn from your mistakes in the future. I definetely need to take the time to plan my meals and exercise for the week or I will fall into the same trap as I did this past week which is endulge the urge and regret it later. Nope lesson learned!

Journey to a Healthy Body

39e66afc5bbd472bd974db4442b82b17 People always tell me that you need to love the body you are in and love yourself if you want to be happy. Well… I half agree with that statement because yes I do need to love myself but it doesn’t mean I am going to be happy with the changes that have been going on in my body. There are women that love themselves whether they are 105 pounds and petite or 205 pounds and curvy. I am not one of those women!

Currently I am 158 pounds and continuing to gain weight despite my efforts to work out and change my eating habits. I have been working out 4-5 times a week, practicing yoga almost daily and have cut out most carbs and sugars plus increased my intake of fresh fruits/veggies and water but I continue to gain weight. I am exhausted everyday, even if I can take a nap, I just want to continue to sleep and my body hurts all the time.

Part of me wonders if there is something more going on with my body then the tests are revealing. I have been going to the doctor for 2 years for sleep problems and my body pain. All that was revealed was the I have herniated discs in my neck that “could” be effecting my nerve endings in my body. It is frustrating and depressing that my body feels this miserable and my attempts at living a healthier lifestyle has increased my weight instead of decrease my weight and pain. I took myself off the medication that aided in my pain relief because my significant other and I are trying to have a baby after my miscarriage in January. We have pushed to change to a healthier lifestyle to help aid in trying to conceive so this just adds to my frustrations with my weight.

Happiness is a mind over matter situation but your matter affects your mind especially when it comes to self love. I want to feel happy and healthy with my body, mind and life so this is going to be a long journey in my life that will require even more changes to give me those results I seek.

On Mondays, I am going to blog about my journey with my weight, body and happiness within.